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Thread: What is the hardest part...

  1. Junior Member
    Laura1773's Avatar
    Laura1773 is offline
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    Feb 2009

    What is the hardest part...

    of your spouse not being around when it comes to your children and a deployment?

    Mine so far is spending 12 hours a day with our 2-year old. I do not have any sort of a break throughout the day. I am a stay-at-home-mom and I go to school. I do not have family around that can help out and he has been having seperation anxiety really bad so I cannot put him in drop-off daycare or with a babysitter. I do not blame him because I believe he thinks that I might leave like his daddy did for his deployment. He knows that daddy is gone, but does not understand why.

    Does anyone know what I can do to deal with this? I love my son but at the end of the day, I am exhausted!
  2. Damage Control
    Nikolle's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
    When he was gone, it was her CONSTANTLY asking if when we were going to go pick him up and where was he. It felt like the fact that he was gone was being thrown in my face. Also the fact that I NEVER got a break! He is at WLC for a month right now and she still does it!

    Embrace those who love you and whom you love, and rid yourself of those who will only bring you down!
  3. Senior Member
    fitmommyof4's Avatar
    fitmommyof4 is offline
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    May 2008
    Fort Polk, LA/Iraq
    I try to keep mine busy. We had him gone for 3 months last year for a school then he left yesterday for a year. Last time we just kept a good routine. Went on walks every day and to the park. Nap time was my break time and at night when they go to bed. It is stressful being the only parent 100% of the time. I am going to use the hourly care though because I need the break. I think if you explain to your dd tha tyou are coming back and she is going to go play w/ her friends she will eventually like it. She will see that you come back every time to get her and then she will relax and play. It'll be good for her to see that you can leave and you will come back and she will get to play while you get a break.

    The hardest part for me is that my husband was great w/ wrestling w/ the kids and having that fun roughouse time w/ them. He also put them to bed at night so last night was rough w/ them asking for him and he's gone.
    Trish & Hubby Home for R&R!! Dec. 2009
  4. Regular Member
    EMmom's Avatar
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    Apr 2009
    Yup, being 1:1 all day long is really draining. I can't imagine doing it without friends & family around though, you poor thing!!! I've already had my mom babysit and it's only been 3 days! LOL

    I'm not sure what to say about the separation anxiety, but maybe you could call Military One Source and get a referral for a professional? I know there are counselors available, and I'm sure they deal with kids' anxiety a lot.

    Good luck!!

    my husband, my love, my best friend, my hero

  5. Senior Member
    magsloveskev's Avatar
    magsloveskev is offline
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    Apr 2009
    MCAS Miramar
    We have a 13 month old and I am a sahm....sooo...haha all of it! Right now ds is getting in his first molars and he is the crabbiest thing alive! Plus all of our family live in Nebraska and we are located in California But thankfully my mom and brother are coming in a couple weeks for 10 days. I can't wait for them to get here! DH has been deployed for almost 4 months now, but for one month we were able to go home to Nebraska to celebrate our bdays and that helped SOOO much!!
    I hope you find the resources you need!
  6. Just your everyday, laidback Aussie Girl
    SandyKay's Avatar
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    Just your everyday, laidback Aussie Girl
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    Aug 2007
    Somewhere out there

    I am a SAHM too, trying to study and sew. I have an almost 6 yr old, a 2 yr old and a almost 9mth old. My 2 yr old and 9 mth old, I am with them 24/7 and they are both teething at the moment. I am glad my 6 yr old is at school during the day. We are in UT, DH's family is in VA (not that I would want my MIL around) and my mom is back home in Australia. I was a single mom in a LDR with DH before we got married, but having 3 kids now is a lot harder than 1 then. ODS has been showing the most affect from the deployment. Look into seeing the Military and Family Life consultant. Check at the family support centre if they have one on base, they can help with child behaviour and give you some ideas on what to do.
    I tell my YDS "daddy is at work" I have a daddy doll for each of my kids and I get the boys to draw him pics and we make the care packages together. Can you webcam? We try to webcam with the kids once a week, that way they can see him and tell them what they have been doing. If you need someone to chat to PM me.

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