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Thread: child with anxiety / emotional issues

  1. bailliesbags
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    child with anxiety / emotional issues

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    due to deployment. Does anyone else have a elem age child that has been diagnosed with issues due to deployment?

    My dd is 8 is anxiety with very borderline anger. She had another one of her meltdowns tonight. They are happening more often these days. She hurt her brother chasing him. They had been told several times to stop. It was bed time so I just told her to get ready for bed and go. Well complete meltdown later she is in bed. (I think he gets the brunt of her Anger). She wants her dad home, she would be better off with him, spank her b/c she meant to hurt him (even though it was an accident), banging her head on the wall, hitting herself.

    (she also has nightmares and has had several wetting accidents since dh left)

    Anyone else going thru this?

    What do you do when they are trying to hurt themself?

    She is seeing a psychologist, I am calling him tomorrow, it would be nice to know that I am not alone it this world though.

    Andrea
    Last edited by bailliesbags; 11-30-2008 at 09:16 PM.
  2. emb_78
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    #2
    , I am sorry, that must be so hard to watch! I hope you get some answers
  3. Senior Member
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    #3
    I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you. Our DD is 5 and has definitely been more fearful, nightmares, meltdowns but not to the extent that you're describing. I hope the psychologist can help you.
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    #4
    i dont have kids
    but i can relate

    it took me 20 years to finally see a therapist about my anxiety, which now comes in the form of intense stressing out and then crying

    but when i was younger, i had a difficult family situation and oftentimes, in order to punish myself would hit my head with my hands or bite my lips.

    myparents never really witnessed it as i often did it alone since i was ashamed, bhut sometimes if i got into a bad fight with a parent i would yell and scream and throw myself on the ground until i was hyperventaliating.

    i never believed in young children seeing a psychologists or even teens. but this behavior eventually turned into emotional disconnectness. i cry at the drop of a dime.i never hurt myself now, and anything. and i am pretty "normal" but i have gotten into fights with ex boyfriends int he past and i have threatened to hurt myself, even though i now know i wouldnt.

    what i think happens later in life, is that there is such a build up of anxiety, and oftentimes, others involved in the person's life are often enablers.

    my db doesnt know much about it now, but i can tell you because he often is able to calm me down without riling me up, i have avoide anxiety attacks.

    i would say, perhaps your daughter should talk to someone
    but i also think you shouldnt worry as much as you are. she is a child, she will mature out of this....
    no one knows of my problem really, but me
    i have had 1 -2 episodes in the last 6 years where i have been hysterical and had an anxiety attacks, and i have mostly "grown" out of it
    a lot of it is maturity

    offer your daughter other ways as an outlet, it will help
    maybe a new hobby she can do at home, art, sports, music, something that is calming

    i used to love going out to play outside when i was stressed when i was little, as a young child you end up getting distracted and feel better
  5. bailliesbags
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    Quote Originally Posted by eastcoaster View Post
    i dont have kids
    but i can relate

    it took me 20 years to finally see a therapist about my anxiety, which now comes in the form of intense stressing out and then crying

    but when i was younger, i had a difficult family situation and oftentimes, in order to punish myself would hit my head with my hands or bite my lips.

    myparents never really witnessed it as i often did it alone since i was ashamed, bhut sometimes if i got into a bad fight with a parent i would yell and scream and throw myself on the ground until i was hyperventaliating.

    i never believed in young children seeing a psychologists or even teens. but this behavior eventually turned into emotional disconnectness. i cry at the drop of a dime.i never hurt myself now, and anything. and i am pretty "normal" but i have gotten into fights with ex boyfriends int he past and i have threatened to hurt myself, even though i now know i wouldnt.

    what i think happens later in life, is that there is such a build up of anxiety, and oftentimes, others involved in the person's life are often enablers.

    my db doesnt know much about it now, but i can tell you because he often is able to calm me down without riling me up, i have avoide anxiety attacks.

    i would say, perhaps your daughter should talk to someone
    but i also think you shouldnt worry as much as you are. she is a child, she will mature out of this....
    no one knows of my problem really, but me
    i have had 1 -2 episodes in the last 6 years where i have been hysterical and had an anxiety attacks, and i have mostly "grown" out of it
    a lot of it is maturity

    offer your daughter other ways as an outlet, it will help
    maybe a new hobby she can do at home, art, sports, music, something that is calming

    i used to love going out to play outside when i was stressed when i was little, as a young child you end up getting distracted and feel better

    Can't play outside in the middle of the night, way to cold here for that! She has many hobbies and 2 extra things she does, this doesn't take away the fact that her dad is gone and is in a war zone!

    And I think I should be worried and concerned she is MY child, this is not normal for her and I def. would not want her to end up like other people in my life.
  6. Member
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    #6
    sorry i was just trying to give some insight from someone who Lives it everyday. who also has a loved one, in a war zone. i didint mean to insult you, i was just trying to help. i guess no good deed goes undone
  7. bailliesbags
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    Quote Originally Posted by eastcoaster View Post
    sorry i was just trying to give some insight from someone who Lives it everyday. who also has a loved one, in a war zone. i didint mean to insult you, i was just trying to help. i guess no good deed goes undone
    Yes I was offended and probablly should have waited before replying, I am sorry for that.

    However, being a child of 8 and having a father in a war is totally different then being an adult with a loved one at war.

    My daughter does gymnastics and girl scouts. She is also a very talented artist and she loves crafts. She has started to learn to sew. So I do keep her busy.

    She hides her feeling from everyone, but me. No one realizes she struggles with this unless they hear it from me. Letting her just work thru it and live with it isn't the answer. As a parent I can't let her sit there and try and hurt herself. I have to offer other avenues, b/c it can start small, but can grow to more. (My brother started little and it grew and grew to where he tried to commit suicide when I was preg. with my dd, I am no stranger to Mental issues).

    Thank you for offering your insight!
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    #8
    well i will accept that half hearted apology
    it is best to take everything with a grain of salt

    this is an internet forum
    people are trying to help you not insult you
    i have dealt with severe anxiety all my life
    on top of it, you do not know someone online's personal situations
    perhaps her father is at war
    but when i was 8, i didint have a father. so she is lucky for that.

    like i said, get her to a psychologist
    when he comes home from war, she will probably get better
    it is an illness and not something that can be cured. but i hope bvy all means you do not medicate a poor innocent child who is just trying to ward off her emotions, perhaps if u sit down and talk to her about her feelings
  9. bailliesbags
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    1. If you had read my first post you would see that she is seeing a psychologist. And you didn't say to take her to a Psychologist, you said you didn't believe in kids or teens seeing psychologist.

    2. Not once did I say I was or was planning on medicating her.

    3. I posted this looking for another parent that was going thru the same things I was for support and I stated that in my post.

    4. Yes it should get better after he comes home, but that doesn't help the fact now. (I hope you never have to hear your child say she doesn't want to live or hear her hurting herself)

    5. And who are you to insuate that I don't sit down and talk to her about her feelings. I don't owe you an explination of our conversations, but I don't appreciate your insuations either.

    6. If I didn't care greatly about my child I wouldn't even care about her feeling and the things going on in her life. I think you can read from my post how much I am hurting for her and how much I care for her and I just wanted another mom to say hey it will be ok, it gets better. Not to feel attacked by someone that doesn't even have children of her own yet.
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    yes, and i said, i am not a parent. but i can speak from your daughters side.

    this is stupid. i dont need to argue with you. i can tell we have different views on the subject and honestly. in life. So if someone with the experience i have, with the field work i have done with children like this, doesnt make a difference, then i wish u the best finding someone who can. Just because i dont have children of my own makes no difference. i am your daughter 18 yrs later
    i am sorry i ever opened up my mouth to express something so personal and emotional for one of the first times every publicly. I was looking to help someone.

    i hope you find the answers you are looking for in life
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