Gone for training, and problems every time - Kids Coping with Deployment

aubrey · 10-16-2008, 08:55 PM

EVERY time DH leaves for training (he leaves for 2, 3 weeks or a month at a time) DS acts out. He refuses to use the potty, pees and poops his pants all day long every day, and acts out in general to me, refusing to do what I say. He'll do this for about 4-5 days after DH leaves, every time he leaves. DH is gone more than he's home, so this is quite often. And I just don't know what to do! DS just started daycare, and now he's peeing his pants all day long at daycare, and they're complaining, and I don't know what to do about it. What should I tell Wade? I tell him daddy's coming home in 3 weeks, or a month, or whatever, but of course he doesn't get it (he's only 3). He doesn't understand when that is. He just understands that daddy's gone again and he's pissed so he's going to act out again. Any advice?

Brandi · 10-16-2008, 09:00 PM

Ugh, I am so sorry. My kids have gone through that during times when they've had to deal with a lot of change (new baby, moving, jason leaving, etc) and it's definitely rough. I don't have any real advice for you because I'm sure you've done pretty much all that you can do. Kids just have a hard time with coping sometimes and as frustrating as it is for them, it's equally frustrating for us

Heather · 10-16-2008, 09:28 PM

Have you tried having your husband talk to him about his behavior? Sometimes when my kids act badly John willl talk to them and it usually clears up the problem.

Jennlynn · 10-17-2008, 08:05 PM

I have not tried this before but a friend of mine did and it really seemed to help. At the time her DH was deployed, they didn't get the meaning of time.. so what she did was take 3 weeks of M&M's for each kid and each day they ate one. So they could acutally see how long till there daddy came home. I thought it was a great idea. Thought about doing it for my son but i don't like the idea of putting 400 M&M's in a bowl for a year...lol GOOD LUCK!!!

10-16-2008, 08:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
aubrey MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Me: SoCal, Him: Afghanistan Posts: 4,382 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 1% Longevity: 46%	Gone for training, and problems every time EVERY time DH leaves for training (he leaves for 2, 3 weeks or a month at a time) DS acts out. He refuses to use the potty, pees and poops his pants all day long every day, and acts out in general to me, refusing to do what I say. He'll do this for about 4-5 days after DH leaves, every time he leaves. DH is gone more than he's home, so this is quite often. And I just don't know what to do! DS just started daycare, and now he's peeing his pants all day long at daycare, and they're complaining, and I don't know what to do about it. What should I tell Wade? I tell him daddy's coming home in 3 weeks, or a month, or whatever, but of course he doesn't get it (he's only 3). He doesn't understand when that is. He just understands that daddy's gone again and he's pissed so he's going to act out again. Any advice? __________________ Aubrey RIP Jeremy 3/17/78 - 1/16/09

10-16-2008, 09:00 PM	#2 (permalink)
Brandi “If you want the last word, apologize.” Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 39,594 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (3) Activity: 21% Longevity: 99%	Ugh, I am so sorry. My kids have gone through that during times when they've had to deal with a lot of change (new baby, moving, jason leaving, etc) and it's definitely rough. I don't have any real advice for you because I'm sure you've done pretty much all that you can do. Kids just have a hard time with coping sometimes and as frustrating as it is for them, it's equally frustrating for us __________________

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10-16-2008, 09:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
Heather Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: My little house on the prairie Posts: 18,581 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 40% Longevity: 66%	Have you tried having your husband talk to him about his behavior? Sometimes when my kids act badly John willl talk to them and it usually clears up the problem.

10-17-2008, 08:05 PM	#4 (permalink)
Jennlynn Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Milford Delaware Posts: 204 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 19%	I have not tried this before but a friend of mine did and it really seemed to help. At the time her DH was deployed, they didn't get the meaning of time.. so what she did was take 3 weeks of M&M's for each kid and each day they ate one. So they could acutally see how long till there daddy came home. I thought it was a great idea. Thought about doing it for my son but i don't like the idea of putting 400 M&M's in a bowl for a year...lol GOOD LUCK!!!