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Thread: How to tell them

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    #1

    Help How to tell them

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    Ok We just found out this week that my DH is getting deployed. We don't know when exactly but we know its coming. We have a 7 year old son. I am really concerned how he is going to react. We were not going to tell him about it till we had a date but then at dinner, another soldier in that unit came up to us and starting talking. We were soo afraid he was going to say something our son would pick up on. But he didn't...... anyway, the reason I am posting is does anyone have any suggestions on how to start this talk with him? Is there things I should or should not say?
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    I'm just upfront with my kids. "Daddy's work means he's gotta go sometimes, and that time is coming up. He'll be gone for a while, but home before you know it. And, we'll write letters (or email)to him all the time" I'm not sure if this is your first deployment, but after a few of them, they almost start to expect it.
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    Sesame Street put out a really good movie... Might be somewhere to start.

    http://archive.sesameworkshop.org/tlc/
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    I tell them as soon as we know. I think they need the time to prepare too. There are books at the base library that you can get for them. The family suppoprt cener has

    things too. I tell them that sometimes Daddy has to go to other countries to work. If we know where he is going I show them on a map. They can make things for Daddy and

    they each get a special day just them and Daddy.


    It's hard. I'm sorry.
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    #5
    i don't have any advice that hasn't been said, but i'm so sorry. i know that it's always hard for the spouses, but it's extra hard for the kids because a lot of them are just too young to understand where daddy went. make sure that they know that they'll still get to talk to them. if you don't have a webcam, maybe you should get one? sometimes it helps being able to see daddy, even if he's not home
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    Thank you for all the advice. As far as the movie, my mother-in-law is the co-leader of another units FRG. So she is going to let me use it to show to him. We told him just a little bit ago and he seems ok. He cried for a little bit but now him and his daddy are out in the shed working on a "special project" lol. This is our first deployment. My father-in-law went to Kuwait 3 years ago and we had lots of problems with my son then.

    If anyone else should read this and is looking for some advice... the first thing I did was call his school counsler and teacher. The counsler new we were going to tell him this weekend and he is going to pull Tyler from class on Monday just to see how he is doing.

    Thanks again for all the advice. I am not even close to being new in the military... just the deployment thing.
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    Sounds like you have it under control (as best as we all can.)

    You all will make it through this. It is hard, but doable.
  8. BettyLouwho?
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    I just wanted to add, our son is also 7. He seemed to handle it well when we told him & my daughter. THEN deployment day came & he was soooo upset. It was horrible (makes me sad thinking about it). Just be prepared, because as good as they seem to take it----it may not actually sink in until dad is leaving & he has to say goodbye. Sorry to be a downer, but I wish I had known. Good Luck!
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by BettyLouwho? View Post
    I just wanted to add, our son is also 7. He seemed to handle it well when we told him & my daughter. THEN deployment day came & he was soooo upset. It was horrible (makes me sad thinking about it). Just be prepared, because as good as they seem to take it----it may not actually sink in until dad is leaving & he has to say goodbye. Sorry to be a downer, but I wish I had known. Good Luck!


    I know it will change when he leaves. My father-in-law was deployed a few years ago and he really didnt get it till the deployment ceremony. It was sooo sad. Keep in mind he is very proud about the military. Ya know, loves camo and army trucks.... anyway, he looked at me and said "mommy, i don't like the army people anymore" he cried, i cried. I am not expecting him to be ok through it all..... but that you for your input. Good Luck!!

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