not DB's child

[mlove6767]

ok so DB and I have been together for less than a year but seem like we've been together forever...he was stationed in MS for 3 months and now has been in Iraq for almost 30 days...my daughter and I are here in MA...so my daughter (not his child) has not seen DB since June 8th. (I've seen him twice in MS). She talks about him everyday, tells me how much she misses him, she doesn't want him to be in the Navy anymore, why can't the bad guys just leave, etc. etc. She's 4 (a VERY smart 4) She tells me (without knowing when he'll be back) that she'll be 5 when he comes home and that it's ok to miss him but it makes her very sad...she tells my parents this and she even tells her dad this. (He is a very understanding man) But it reached a new level today...she woke up this morning, walked into my room crying saying how much she missed him. OMG! As a mother who misses her DB I wanted to curl up & cry myself back to sleep...but obviously put on a brave face and held her and told her it was ok to miss him and we have each other and he's still working and he'll be home as soon as he can. OK...sorry this was so long I needed a quick vent session...

But any suggestions on what to do from here? She draws him pictures to send and paints decorations to send. She talks to him when he does call...he even mailed her a bear for her to hug every time she misses him (Wish she has brought to me before saying "Mommy, I think you need to hug the bear now because I know how much you miss Tim right now too!") There are so many books out there for moms & dads (which is great!) but not every family is conventional...is there anything out there for "friends" of children...I have searched online and will be doing the same at the library tomorrow...HELP please!!

[SpunkyShan]

so I just finished reading my 3 line nightly email and was feeling overly emotional because I didn;t hear anything last night.... and then came and read you post now I offically have tears.... before they were just trying! lol it sound's like you're saying the rite things... I'll check with my mother for you tho... she's the asst director of a preschool here in town(we have AFB here and lots of her kids have dads/moms/and "friends" gone) I'll see if she has any tips for good resources for you. Good luck!

[kiwijus]

You know, there's not a whole lot you can do. If you have access to webcam, utilize it. Let her talk to him.

How serious are you? I'm SO leery about letting s/o's into kids' lives (believe me, not that I have a say in your life, nor do I intend on asking for one), but if you're really serious, have him write letters JUST to her (for you to read to her) and send pictures and things. She'll be ok.

[mlove6767]

When we first started dating I told him upfront that I didn't want him to meet her for a long time...we became pretty serious pretty fast...he was actually practically living with us (in separate beds of course *wink*) and he will be moving in full time when he returns...already talking wedding too...he bought a kit to write letters to her because it's his first experience with a kid. Trust me...totally understand not wanting/thinking kids should meet SO's...he's actually the first she's ever met since she was born.

*and thanks for checking w/ the preschool...

[AProudArmyBrat]

[MySailorsKat0402]

I have no advice but I just wanted to say how incredibly adorable that is! Especially your DD wanting you to hug the bear! How insightful for a 4 yr old! Good luck!

[jukaufma]

Originally Posted by mlove6767 ok so DB and I have been together for less than a year but seem like we've been together forever...he was stationed in MS for 3 months and now has been in Iraq for almost 30 days...my daughter and I are here in MA...so my daughter (not his child) has not seen DB since June 8th. (I've seen him twice in MS). She talks about him everyday, tells me how much she misses him, she doesn't want him to be in the Navy anymore, why can't the bad guys just leave, etc. etc. She's 4 (a VERY smart 4) She tells me (without knowing when he'll be back) that she'll be 5 when he comes home and that it's ok to miss him but it makes her very sad...she tells my parents this and she even tells her dad this. (He is a very understanding man) But it reached a new level today...she woke up this morning, walked into my room crying saying how much she missed him. OMG! As a mother who misses her DB I wanted to curl up & cry myself back to sleep...but obviously put on a brave face and held her and told her it was ok to miss him and we have each other and he's still working and he'll be home as soon as he can. OK...sorry this was so long I needed a quick vent session... But any suggestions on what to do from here? She draws him pictures to send and paints decorations to send. She talks to him when he does call...he even mailed her a bear for her to hug every time she misses him (Wish she has brought to me before saying "Mommy, I think you need to hug the bear now because I know how much you miss Tim right now too!") There are so many books out there for moms & dads (which is great!) but not every family is conventional...is there anything out there for "friends" of children...I have searched online and will be doing the same at the library tomorrow...HELP please!!

that is so adorable. you must have found a great guy if he wants to be so involved in DD's life! congratulations!