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Thread: Advice for a 7 year old

  1. Renee15
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    Advice for a 7 year old

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    Of my three kids, my 7 year old has been taking this deployment the hardest. She is a daddy's girl, and has been getting upset and angry really easy here lately. Besides daddy leaving she also has a new baby brother. I don't know how to handle it, her behavior is getting worse at home, the usual rules are not working. I talked with her teachers and she's fine at school.
    She did ask me the other day, "What if daddy didn't come home?"
    What do you say to that?
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    #2
    i guess all you can do is promise her the best? I'm sorry hun.
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    #3
    maybe have her keep a journal? i did that when i was a kid when we would PCS or my dad would deploy. she doesnt have to write if she doesnt want to she can draw how she feels...
  4. bailliesbags
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renee15 View Post
    Of my three kids, my 7 year old has been taking this deployment the hardest. She is a daddy's girl, and has been getting upset and angry really easy here lately. Besides daddy leaving she also has a new baby brother. I don't know how to handle it, her behavior is getting worse at home, the usual rules are not working. I talked with her teachers and she's fine at school.
    She did ask me the other day, "What if daddy didn't come home?"
    What do you say to that?
    Hello, my daughter is 8 and very much a daddys girl. Her behavior is not an issue. She is however very smart and know that daddy is going to a war zone and there is that possibility that he may not come home. (and I shelter her alot, no war movies on, no news, ect).

    I just made her a daddy blanket that he will get to give to her on his leave. But, she also has a blanket he gave to her last deployment that she clings to. She has tons of photo albums and a pic of him hanging by her bed (she doesn't sleep there). When she cries I just hold her and let her know that what she is feeling is normal. We beleive in the Bible so last time she started with if he dies mommy, I explained to her that if it was God's time to call Daddy home there was nothing that we could do. That he was needed by God more then he was needed her on earth. That when it was his time we had no control, it could be now or when he is old, it could be why he is at war or why he is at home.

    she loves jewlery, she has a locket with a picture of him in it. I also just ordered her a personalized dog tag that says daddy's girl with a picture of him on it!

    My younger son had the behavior issues. I had to get tough, realy tough for a number of weeks and I started a reward system and that helped alot.
  5. Mommy of two sweet girls!
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    This is my fear as well. Mitz will be 7 pretty soon and lately she keep talking about how sad she will be when daddy has to go back to sea. She has seen him go through many deployments when she was younger and never really talked about it till now. I think part of it is because she knows that he's going back to the ship pretty soon. She is also a daddy's girl.

    I think once Lamont goes on deployment again i will have her write him emails that way it will make her feel like daddy is still there and very well okay.
    Gina~

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  6. SRossman
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    I have a 7 year old boy, what we have done during the deployment, we are using "Daddy candy" I counted out the days he is suppose to be gone and each day they get a piece of candy (you could use anything), I got them dogtags that has their Daddys photo on it http://www.designsondemand.com/ (these people were fantastic, very quick and professional) I also got a pillow case made at walmart ($16) with their photo on it. He has an email account through MSN - and can only email Daddy, but helps him feel connected. I type what he says, but then when Daddys writes him, he reads it alone. You can get your daughter email via yahoo or hotmail (I am sure you know) Just a few things we have done to help him and our 4 year old with the deployment.
  7. What? I'm just a Sassy Southern Bell!
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    #7
    I guess be honest. Tell her that is why we pray everynight for him to come home safe. Tell her daddy loves her and he misses her EVERYDAY, he is doing an important job that helps thousands people. Tell her daddy is a hero and she is so strong for being mommy's little helper and she is her little brother's little hero too because she can teach him about daddy and about the wonderful things he does. The email suggestions are great and the candy jar is SO AWSOME! I guess I would include her as much as possible. I remember when my step dad deployed for japan I was eight I think. Mom would let me decorate and pick out stuff or his boxes and we would write cards and make pictures. She was always honest with me and said that is why we pray for #### to come home safe. Good luck. I can't imagine how heart breaking it is to hear that. PM me if you need to talk.
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    #8
    I have an 8 year old boy and when my hubby is gone we do "Kisses from Daddy". Similar to what someone else mentioned I count out one Hershey's kiss for each night he'll be gone and after bed we have kisses from daddy. It's a great visual for him of how much time is left before daddy comes home. It's also a bit of a bonding thing for us because we do it together.

    Behavior problems are hard. My son is almost 9, but last year in 2nd grade he had a lot of behavior issues. This year we're in a new place, different school and he's doing awesome! I have no clue...maybe it's the age and learning to cope with things in a different way. It might be understanding what's going on a little bit more and the dangers that do come with it. I would remind her that daddy will do everything possible to come home safe and sound and find ways for her to feel connected to him...whether it be a journal she writes or draws in or sending him letters and pictures. Every child is different and that fear is real so dealing with it isn't easy as a child.
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    #9
    DS is 7. And he took it very hard when we told him Daddy was going. I love the candy idea on here. I have a friend that did that and it really helped her kids. About the only thing i know to suggest is to get her comfortable with the school counsler. The counsler at our school already goes into all the class rooms to talk to the kids about feelings and bullying and stuff like that so my son already had a relationship with him. I called and talked to his teacher and the counsler before we even told our son so they were prepared to help him.

    Hang in there. I have learned they are stronger then you want them to be and every kid acts different.
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    #10
    We were given a book at one of our pre-deployment meetings titled: 130 questions children as about war and terrorists - comforting your child in uncertain times by Stephen Arterburn, M. ED. and David Stoop, PH.D. I've only flipped through it briefly, but it has a lot of excellent questions and answers. Perhaps your local book store carries it, or even possibly Fleet and Family Services.

    You may even ask your childs teacher about deployment groups at the school. Our Daughter would join a group with other children her age with deployed parents once a week and they would discuss their feelings, their parents and would write them letters, draw them pictures, etc. It helped her to cope with him being away and also helped her connect with other kids going through the same situation as she was.

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