My DH just left and My kids are showing it what do I do? - Kids Coping with Deployment

lstaley2005 · 07-07-2008, 01:51 PM

Well my girls are 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 and daddy just left for a 7 month deployment, they dont always show that they miss him but my oldest beats up on my youngest a lot more, and also the youngest cries alot more, she was always daddys baby, am i not spending enough time with them that they are acting like this and what do i do about the way they are acting?

sheryl_ · 07-07-2008, 08:26 PM

I don't think you're not spending enough time with them. Because the first couple of months for my 2 1/2 (she's now 3) started acting out a lot. He's been gone for about three months now, and she being an only child tends to yell at the dogs. I think your girls are trying to express that they miss their dad, they just can't explain it to you. The only thing that calms my DD is when I show her a video that DH made for her or when he calls when she's not upset at him.

I've also heard from other moms that sometimes the kids are upset with the parent that deployed because they don't fully understand. I know half the time DH has called me, DD has not wanted to talk to him and tells him to go away. Basically, i think your girls are trying to express their feelings the way they know how to.

Hope this all made sense!

[Elizabeth] · 07-24-2008, 10:30 AM

Maybe they aren't understanding..
They have a link in here somewhere about Seasme street where Elmos dad goes over seas..It may help.

If you want someone to talk to- feel free to message me.

Amber · 07-24-2008, 10:48 AM

i don't have kids but i hear the daddy doll is helpful. google it!

Katrina628 · 07-25-2008, 10:05 PM

I have a 3 1/2 dd and 1 1/2 dd, they miss their daddy alot! He is just at AIT right now, but has been gone from home since early April. Our oldest daughter is acting out alot right now, she is mean to her sister. They both like to carry a photo of their daddy around and this seems to help. we also video taped him reading stories to them before he left for basic, those help some. We do have the Elmo DVD, but I really haven't found that to be helpful at all. I wish I could be of some help to you!

Rachel81 · 08-06-2008, 07:42 PM

awwww. I can't really say anything that anyone else hasn't said. My son was very young when my husband left the second time (the first he wasn't even born). I was just thankful that he was so young. I have watched my friends go threw it tho and its a daily process.. They will get better tho.

07-07-2008, 01:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
lstaley2005 Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: MCBH Kaneohe Bay Posts: 96 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 23%	My DH just left and My kids are showing it what do I do? Well my girls are 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 and daddy just left for a 7 month deployment, they dont always show that they miss him but my oldest beats up on my youngest a lot more, and also the youngest cries alot more, she was always daddys baby, am i not spending enough time with them that they are acting like this and what do i do about the way they are acting?

07-24-2008, 10:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
[Elizabeth] Love Simply, Simply love Join Date: May 2008 Location: Rockland, Maine Posts: 4,030 Classifieds: (2) Activity: 64% Longevity: 26%	Maybe they aren't understanding.. They have a link in here somewhere about Seasme street where Elmos dad goes over seas..It may help. If you want someone to talk to- feel free to message me. __________________

07-24-2008, 10:48 AM	#4 (permalink)
Amber deadliest catch without the crabs. Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: we are in va beach. Posts: 15,190 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (2) Activity: 92% Longevity: 24%	i don't have kids but i hear the daddy doll is helpful. google it! __________________

07-25-2008, 10:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
Katrina628 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Me: Ft Bragg, NC / Him:Kuwait Posts: 538 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 24% Longevity: 27%	I have a 3 1/2 dd and 1 1/2 dd, they miss their daddy alot! He is just at AIT right now, but has been gone from home since early April. Our oldest daughter is acting out alot right now, she is mean to her sister. They both like to carry a photo of their daddy around and this seems to help. we also video taped him reading stories to them before he left for basic, those help some. We do have the Elmo DVD, but I really haven't found that to be helpful at all. I wish I could be of some help to you! __________________ "I love you more than I can say, I can't even fathom the words" - DH

08-06-2008, 07:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
Rachel81 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Fort Hood Posts: 50 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 21%	awwww. I can't really say anything that anyone else hasn't said. My son was very young when my husband left the second time (the first he wasn't even born). I was just thankful that he was so young. I have watched my friends go threw it tho and its a daily process.. They will get better tho. __________________

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07-07-2008, 08:26 PM	#2 (permalink)
sheryl_ Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: McChord AFB, WA Posts: 66 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 25%	I don't think you're not spending enough time with them. Because the first couple of months for my 2 1/2 (she's now 3) started acting out a lot. He's been gone for about three months now, and she being an only child tends to yell at the dogs. I think your girls are trying to express that they miss their dad, they just can't explain it to you. The only thing that calms my DD is when I show her a video that DH made for her or when he calls when she's not upset at him. I've also heard from other moms that sometimes the kids are upset with the parent that deployed because they don't fully understand. I know half the time DH has called me, DD has not wanted to talk to him and tells him to go away. Basically, i think your girls are trying to express their feelings the way they know how to. Hope this all made sense!