Oh boy, I'm over my head. - Kids Coping with Deployment

[Elizabeth] · 05-25-2008, 11:03 AM

Hey ladies, I really need some help. My three year old has been having emotional break downs- from having temper tantrums to being extra clingy. My DH left on May 5th, for basic training- and I was wondering if this could be a correlation?

How did you handle explaining deployment to a three year old? I already ordered the Sesame Street video, does that really help?
I am up to my eyeballs and I have no idea what to do.
Please help

kiwimumoftwo · 05-27-2008, 07:03 PM

Hey hun - I'm a Mum of two, now aged 10 and 12, but there was a stage (when my marriage ended) that my son who was then 4 became sooooooo clingy. I would suggest that your son's clingyness could very well be connected with your husband being away. I guess the next little while is going to be difficult especially if there's no communication from your husband. Apparently the Sesame Street video is helpful - in my experience 3 year olds do understand more than perhaps we give them credit for. Keep us updated - I'll keep you in my thoughts.

*Mackenzie* · 05-27-2008, 07:13 PM

at my day care we have a three year old who use to be horrible and clingy to us and mean. We knew it was because his dad is gone. (military)
I think that it is becaue his dad is gone. Just have pictures around and have him "talk" to daddy. (aka talk to teh pictures)
it might work. three year olds are pretty smart.

HunnyBunny · 05-27-2008, 09:45 PM

I agree that kids are smarter than we give them credit for. My daughter isnt even 2 yet and she knows daddy is gone. She clings on to me like CRAZY! I can't go to the mailbox by myself.... sometimes can't even use the bathroom! She's like almost afraid that I'm going to leave her. I wish it were easier to just tell them that daddy is coming back! It's so hard dealing with deployment, let alone trying to get children to understand it as well. I don't know what to tell you but I just comfort DD when she gets that way, if that's what she's looking for then what harm can I do by letting her cling on to me. I'm sure it will all change when DF comes home.

laurie007 · 05-28-2008, 12:45 PM

[Elizabeth] · 05-30-2008, 08:04 AM

Now she is wetting the bed everynight

amazinggrace · 05-30-2008, 08:27 AM

I'm sorry, it is normal to regress during a seperation. Thier stability has been shaken. All kids express it a diffrent way. Can you draw pictures or make little projects for Daddy? Can he send her recorded messages of him reading books? It will get better, you both can do this.

05-25-2008, 11:03 AM	#1 (permalink)
[Elizabeth] Love Simply, Simply love Join Date: May 2008 Location: Rockland, Maine Posts: 4,032 Classifieds: (2) Activity: 62% Longevity: 26%	Oh boy, I'm over my head. Hey ladies, I really need some help. My three year old has been having emotional break downs- from having temper tantrums to being extra clingy. My DH left on May 5th, for basic training- and I was wondering if this could be a correlation? How did you handle explaining deployment to a three year old? I already ordered the Sesame Street video, does that really help? I am up to my eyeballs and I have no idea what to do. Please help __________________

05-27-2008, 07:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
kiwimumoftwo Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 1,084 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 25%	Hey hun - I'm a Mum of two, now aged 10 and 12, but there was a stage (when my marriage ended) that my son who was then 4 became sooooooo clingy. I would suggest that your son's clingyness could very well be connected with your husband being away. I guess the next little while is going to be difficult especially if there's no communication from your husband. Apparently the Sesame Street video is helpful - in my experience 3 year olds do understand more than perhaps we give them credit for. Keep us updated - I'll keep you in my thoughts. __________________ "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope". Jeremiah 29:11

05-27-2008, 07:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mackenzie Hoping for team pink! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Laughlin AFB, Del Rio, Texas. Posts: 2,497 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 63% Longevity: 30%	at my day care we have a three year old who use to be horrible and clingy to us and mean. We knew it was because his dad is gone. (military) I think that it is becaue his dad is gone. Just have pictures around and have him "talk" to daddy. (aka talk to teh pictures) it might work. three year olds are pretty smart. __________________ I my wifey Sandykay

05-28-2008, 12:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
laurie007 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Little Creek, VA. Posts: 350 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 13% Longevity: 26%	__________________ under construction. Team Mike [because i like to make out without passing out]

05-30-2008, 08:04 AM	#6 (permalink)
[Elizabeth] Love Simply, Simply love Join Date: May 2008 Location: Rockland, Maine Posts: 4,032 Classifieds: (2) Activity: 62% Longevity: 26%	Now she is wetting the bed everynight __________________

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05-27-2008, 09:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
HunnyBunny Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 315 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 32%	I agree that kids are smarter than we give them credit for. My daughter isnt even 2 yet and she knows daddy is gone. She clings on to me like CRAZY! I can't go to the mailbox by myself.... sometimes can't even use the bathroom! She's like almost afraid that I'm going to leave her. I wish it were easier to just tell them that daddy is coming back! It's so hard dealing with deployment, let alone trying to get children to understand it as well. I don't know what to tell you but I just comfort DD when she gets that way, if that's what she's looking for then what harm can I do by letting her cling on to me. I'm sure it will all change when DF comes home.

05-30-2008, 08:27 AM	#7 (permalink)
amazinggrace Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 10,202 Classifieds: (6) Activity: 45% Longevity: 27%	I'm sorry, it is normal to regress during a seperation. Thier stability has been shaken. All kids express it a diffrent way. Can you draw pictures or make little projects for Daddy? Can he send her recorded messages of him reading books? It will get better, you both can do this.