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Thread: Need Help

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    Need Help

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    I am looking for advice and experience. While I have been through deploymnets before it was never having to help children through it. Roseanna was 7 months when Mark was last deployed and after a year she had to relearn him all over again. This time she is just turned 5 and so far having a very difficult time. Mark was home for Christmas (on break from training in TX) but he is gone for good now for a year and she is being so hateful toward me. The few days before he left were the worst because she insisted that I could keep daddy home for her. We sat her down and talked it out, ect but she would not listen. i feel now that she thinks I let her down. i am scared how this year is going to go.

    Russell on the other hand is 20 months. Will he remember Mark when he comes home? I have no clue about this. We have daddy videos of storytime from previous deployment that we did for Roseanna and I plan on showing him them but he is not much for tv. We also bought both kids build a bear with his voice in them but I am scraed that he will not remember him Any advice for either of my children?
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  2. JadedPrincess
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    Try giving her his pillow. Or use one of his undershirts as a pillowcase for her pillow.

    That helped a child i used to watch.
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    Sometimes children dont know how to express their feelings even at 5 they are at a lose for the words...sit down and talk with her about her missing daddy...give her something special of daddys and have her write a letter to her daddy everyday...give her a pic of her and her daddy together to have at her bedside or with her everyday...ask ur hubby to sned a special gift or message back via email or snail mail...I am so sorry this is a tough situation I know...try to make a deployment chain with her using paper links and set it up around the house...I know it'll be long...but take one down every night as a countdown to when dad returns!! Good luck..If I can help anymore let me know!
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    #4
    I wanted to say thanks for the ideas! I am def going to use them! Any other are greatly appreciated and if anyone has experience knowing if Russell (20 mos) will remember daddy that would be great. i just want to know what to expect. They have doc appoints on Friday and I am going to discuss all this with her also to see what she thinks.
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  5. firepmed
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    My youngest daughter is six and she was acting silly before he left and them had a melt down. I created a website on thefamilypost.com which is free for military and you can put video on it. After she saw herslef on video and she wrote to him on there and then she read his email back she loved it. It made her feel great. She could write to her dad and watch her videos and his and look at the pics we put on. It made her feel like a big girl. Not to mention it helped with her reading and writing. Look into it. All my kids also have a shirt of his to sleep in. Even me.
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    Show him pics of daddy. Talk about daddy every day. If he can call let him talk to daddy on the phone. I worry about that with Bailey if Tony deploys in March.
  7. ahf
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    #7
    Did you try the flatdaddy? www.flatdaddies.com It works for my daughter, she really likes it. I'm not sure if it would work on older kids though, but it might be worth a try.
    Good luck!
  8. kshep
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    My daughter is 27 mos. and daddy has been gone since May. And let me tell you she remembers daddy. I have pics of daddy she has a daddy pillow and we web cam she actually kiss the screen when she sees him. Today she broke my heart he called and wanted to talk to him the first words out of her mouth were come home daddy please come home.(he is due home late march I hope).As long as you still make daddy a part of eveyday I'm sure your son will do fine.
  9. TPuckey
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    just throwin' out a few ideas

    -if your daughter is in school, try talking to her teacher to see if she can organize a "hero" day, where they can talk about what is going on.. it really helped my four year old.
    -try some great "proud of my daddy" shirts from cafe-press.com, my daughter is so proud she won't take them off
    -take a picture of him to a screen printer and make a pillowcase so she can sleep with him.
    -we also offer bracelets on my website.. www.halfofmyheartcreations.com. not trying to push it off, but we offer daddy/mommy bracelets and there is a mini picture frame charm on it for a picture
    -for your youngest and your oldest, take some strips of colored paper and write a message to daddy each day about what you did, how you're feeling, etc. then make a paper chain around the house. it reminds them that he is coming home, and that they will have something special to look at when he does.
    -for your daughter, have her put a nickle in a jar to save up for a "date with daddy"

    just some ideas.. hope they help!
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    #10
    Thanks for all the great ideas! I am also glad to hear about someone Russell's age that remembers. He has a bear with his voice and a pic by his bed that he kisses. I bought DH a webcam so once he finally gets to his location hopefully we can start using that too!
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