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Thread: Advice..

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
    RockinMama's Avatar
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    #1

    Advice..

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    My 3 1/2 year old is a complete daddys boy, and my DH leaves soon, how on earth am i going to explain to him, daddys not at work, and won't be home?


  2. Living in paradise :D
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    #2
    I'm not much help. I explain to DD that sometimes Daddy's at work for the day, and sometimes he's at work for a REALLY long time. I'll tell her the length of time too even though she doesn't understand it, just because the word day is different than months in the hope she'll grasp that part. And when he's gone for more than a day and she asks where he is, I tell her Daddy is at work in such and such place and has a long time he'll still be at work. He'll be home in a [insert time]. She'll usually say, ok. When she gets older, I'll show her on a map where he is (if we know). But usually just, Daddy is still at work and won't be home for a long time will satisfy her.

    And she's been to his work so many times that when we drive past it, she'll start yelling, "Daddy's work!" So that might help when I tell her he's at work she can picture in her head where he is. Even if that's not where he's working at the time (like when he's gone).
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #3
    THanks, i think it kills me more than he doesn't understand, more than it hurts me to know he is leaving.


  4. ilovemickeymost
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    #4
    My DS is almost 2 & it has its challenges, but the goood thing is this won't be something he remembers later in life. On the other hand my DD is 13 yo & she will remember this & all her fears for the rest of her life.
    *There is a video put together by Sesame Street & Walmart, "Talk, Listen, Connect". Elmo's Daddy leaves. My son tells me when he wants to watch it & I think its his way of coping. Just be ready w/ the tissue. For you. There are a couple songs that kill me. The 1st time I bawled like a baby. Check w/ your Family Readiness Group or base family support. His commanding officer might even know about it. Or Army Times had a write up. Or google Elmo deployment. Request 2 copies b/c you will were one out.
    *DS knows Daddy when on a plane & is in Iraq. So when he sees planes he says Daddy.
    *I've showed him on gooogle earth where he is. We start at our house & it moves to the area. It helps me too, not to feel so far away from him.
    *The other thing is we say good night to Daddy when we look at the moon. This gives DS a visible of Daddy. I think he thinks Daddy is actually in the moon. LOL But it also helps me, when I miss him, I go outside & look at the moon & know he can see it too. This has helped my hubby tons too.
    *They also have daddydoll.com. You need a head to toe pic of DH, they make it into a doll. DH can even do a voice recording that they put into the doll.
    *DH recorded himself reading stories to DS. We have the books, so DS can follow along. Some of the bases over there have it set up for the guys to do, but not all of them, so if you can get him to do it before its better. DH was saddest that he wouldn't be able to tuck him in at night & so this was a way for him to be here & do that. At the end of the story, he'd always say. Its time for good night & I love you.
    * I used one of my husbands military t-shirts for a pillowcase for DS pillow.
    * I keep a photo of daddy in a frame in his bed. You can always cover it in fabric if you are worried about the edges. DS slept w/ it all the time in the beginning.
    * We say special prayer for Daddy. "Dear GOD, Please watch over my daddy. keep him safe, & bring him home soon. Amen"
    *If he starts being bad, just hug him more & ask him if he misses Daddy?
    I hope you find some of this helpful. I got a lot of the ideas from other mommies & the Elmo video has tons of ideas. They are pretty quick sending it.
  5. i didn't realize that the USSR was back.
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    #5
    You can say he is at work, but then explain how work isn't where he normally is. When my dh would go on deployment my kids knew he was at work, just work was a boat in the middle of the ocean. ( lest he think he was on vacation without us) in the deployment section there are tons of ways to help kids cope with deployment its a great thread
    http://militarysos.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112592


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  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Thanks so much


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    #7
    I TOLD MY 3 YEAR OLD SON THAT HIS DADDY WORKS ON THE BOAT AND HE HAS TO LEAVE FOR A LITTLE WHILE AND THAT WE COULD STILL TALK TO HIM ON THE PHONE EVERY NOW AND AGAIN AND THOUGH EMAILS MY SON LOVES THE COMPUTER AND UNDERSTAND HOW TO TYPE TO HIM WHEN I SHOW HIM THE KEYS AND LETTERS ITS A GREAT LEARNING THING AS WELL AS FUN FOR HIM SO HE CAN TALK TO HIS DADDY AND SEND HIM PICTURES THOUGH THE COMPUTER AND WHEN HE GETS MAIL BACK HE LOVES IT WE ALSO MAKE POP UP BOOKS FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT DADDY DOSE WORK ON THE BOAT AND HE WILL COME BACK. I HOPE THIS WAS OF SOME HELP TO U AND YOUR LIL ONE

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