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Thread: son upset

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    jupiterinka's Avatar
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    #1

    Duh son upset

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    My db just left for basic this week after living with my son and I for just over 3 months, and my son's been crying a little sometimes. They've gotten so close. But, now when my son is sad, I get to hear him crying for both his biological father and his soon-to-be step-father! What a confused mess that must be for him...or maybe it's just me. My son isn't able to express himself very well since he's only 6, but how can I help him? I tell him my db is coming back, but he can't understand when that will be.
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    #2
    Thats a hard sport to be in I would just keep reassuring him that his step-dad to be will return-assure him of that often, daily if necessary---You may also ask your df to write your ds letters
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    #3
    Do a count down calander. So he can cross everyday off so he sees the progress. I also have a 6 year old and am kinda in the same situation. Although my son has no comunication with his real dad and only knows my DH as his father figure. It is really hard when they can't really exspress their feelings. My son also sleeps in my hubbys t shirts when he is gone. They are HUGE on him, but I guess it is his comfort thing to do when he misses him. Just try and be patient I know it is tuff
  4. ilovemickeymost
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    #4
    Art is great for that age range to express themselves. They can draw how they feel.
  5. Biz
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    #5
    i'm in the same situation as you... but my son is 4. i was struggling for ideas of how to help him get a time grasp. just the other day we made something that helped A LOT!. remember when you were a kid and you cut out strips of construction paper and made those long chains for countdowns for xmas? i made one of red/white/blue (52 links for the weeks in my DB's year-long deployment) and i'm going to have him rip one off every sunday night. i hope then that he can look at it and as the chain gets shorter.... the less time he has to wait to see him
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Dannysgirlxoxo View Post
    i'm in the same situation as you... but my son is 4. i was struggling for ideas of how to help him get a time grasp. just the other day we made something that helped A LOT!. remember when you were a kid and you cut out strips of construction paper and made those long chains for countdowns for xmas? i made one of red/white/blue (52 links for the weeks in my DB's year-long deployment) and i'm going to have him rip one off every sunday night. i hope then that he can look at it and as the chain gets shorter.... the less time he has to wait to see him
    I was just about to suggest this! It's a great idea and you can do a daily one or a weekly one. I would go for daily since your DH is only gone 3 months. He can hang it around his room if you want so he can watch it getting smaller.

    Another thing you can do is give him a dime for every day he's gone and make a jar together with photos of the two of them on it. Then, when he gets back, your son has $9 to go out and do something with his soon-to-be-Dad as just "them" time. You can give him a quarter if you want him to have more money, or whatever, but you get the idea.

    Another thing I highly recommend is Daddy Dolls. Ladies on here have heard me harp on about these before. My DD has one and she absolutely loves it. She took to it the first day she got it. Then she played with it on and off for a couple of weeks, and since then it's been her absolute favorite. You get them from daddydolls.com. It's made by military wives working from home, so I feel good about supporting other military families by buying from them too. You can get one with a voice recorder so your DH can leave a message for your son. It records clearly over the phone too, so you can update it if you want. It's a really awesome thing and I personally think all kids who have a deployed parent should have one. (Yes, I consider Basic a Deployment BTW).
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    #7
    have your DB write letters and make it a point when they talk that he reassure him that he will be home soon. Make a count down chain...have him build a chain out of paper and tear down one every night...also put a few pictures up in his room and give him a tee shirt or article of Db for him to have at night or when he is alone pondering! I hope this helps

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