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Thread: I need some advice..

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    #1

    I need some advice..

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    My son has been acting out lately ALOT. I'm not entirely sure what it is. I don't know if it's b/c of his daddy being gone or what. It started when matt left but it's just getting progressively worse. I'm so embarrassed to say what he's been doing b/c it's so utterly unlike him. At first he just b/c more pushy and cried alot then he started hitting and yelling keep in mind it's not all the time he's just becoming very short tempered. Now he's graduating onto destruction. This is something he has NEVER done. Not even when he was in the terrible 2s. He was never the child who broke or tore stuff up NEVER. But he's been breaking some of his toys he's been writing on the walls he recently got detention at school for writing on his desk. I'm not sure how to handle it. I've tried talking to him I've tried punishing him. The only other thing I can think of is trying to get him into seeing his school counseler.
    Any tips would be greatly appreciated.
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    #2
    oh it definitely sounds like it has something to do with his daddy leaving. I would try to get him to talk to a counselor. If he wont talk to you he needs to talk to someone. He is just probably acting out his frustrations about his daddy being gone and instead of talking about it to you he is acting them out. how old is your son?

    I am sorry you are having to deal with this. this is something I am worried about when Rob transfers back to sea duty and has to deploy and how Robbie is going to behave. The last time Rob had to go away for a week I had behaviors issues with Robbie too but he also has ADHD so its worse.


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    #3
    I'm sure it's because daddy's gone. I really do think the school counselor may be able to help him. Give him lots of hugs! Maybe you could go pick out a toy for him while he's at school or a friend's and tell him Dad sent it for him? (of course get something for your daughter too)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat View Post
    oh it definitely sounds like it has something to do with his daddy leaving. I would try to get him to talk to a counselor. If he wont talk to you he needs to talk to someone. He is just probably acting out his frustrations about his daddy being gone and instead of talking about it to you he is acting them out. how old is your son?

    I am sorry you are having to deal with this. this is something I am worried about when Rob transfers back to sea duty and has to deploy and how Robbie is going to behave. The last time Rob had to go away for a week I had behaviors issues with Robbie too but he also has ADHD so its worse.
    Zach is 6. Thank you so much!! I really just needed the validation that sending him to the school counseler would be the best choice..kwim. My biggest flaw is how much I 2nd guess myself.
    Hopefully It won't be that difficult to get him into seeing the counsler.
    When the teacher called me about his behavior she suggested detention where he would scrub his desk of course I said yes. Well when I came there to get him afterwards I mentioned to the teacher that I wondered if it had anything to do with his father and I was going to say and with it being the holidays but she interupted me which made me so angry b/c my child was standing RIGHT there and in any situation inturruption is rude but it's especially rude in that situation at least I thought. But she said don't make excuses that there were plenty of children in the classroom whose fathers were deployed but none of them resorted to vandilism. I was quite thrown b/c well yes writing on his desk in pencil was bad no doubt about that and he was punished at home as well but to say TO ME when he wasn't even there that it was equivalent to Vandalism. I just thought maybe she was making a bigger deal about it then she should have. AGAIN I wasn't minimizing what happened. But I don't know why she had to be such a B about the whole thing about completely disregard that it might have a thing to do with the fact that in the past 4 damn years his father has been home for 1 holiday season.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by MIKOSWIFEY View Post
    I'm sure it's because daddy's gone. I really do think the school counselor may be able to help him. Give him lots of hugs! Maybe you could go pick out a toy for him while he's at school or a friend's and tell him Dad sent it for him? (of course get something for your daughter too)
    That's a really good idea! I have no idea why I didn't think of that myself! Thank you!!!! Hmmmm I have to go to walmart tomm with my friend I bet I could pick something out and then hide it until Monday! Thank you!
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by MIKOSWIFEY View Post
    I'm sure it's because daddy's gone. I really do think the school counselor may be able to help him. Give him lots of hugs! Maybe you could go pick out a toy for him while he's at school or a friend's and tell him Dad sent it for him? (of course get something for your daughter too)
    oh Schaele that is a great idea. I am sure the kids would love that.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Berkley View Post
    Zach is 6. Thank you so much!! I really just needed the validation that sending him to the school counseler would be the best choice..kwim. My biggest flaw is how much I 2nd guess myself.
    Hopefully It won't be that difficult to get him into seeing the counsler.
    When the teacher called me about his behavior she suggested detention where he would scrub his desk of course I said yes. Well when I came there to get him afterwards I mentioned to the teacher that I wondered if it had anything to do with his father and I was going to say and with it being the holidays but she interupted me which made me so angry b/c my child was standing RIGHT there and in any situation inturruption is rude but it's especially rude in that situation at least I thought. But she said don't make excuses that there were plenty of children in the classroom whose fathers were deployed but none of them resorted to vandilism. I was quite thrown b/c well yes writing on his desk in pencil was bad no doubt about that and he was punished at home as well but to say TO ME when he wasn't even there that it was equivalent to Vandalism. I just thought maybe she was making a bigger deal about it then she should have. AGAIN I wasn't minimizing what happened. But I don't know why she had to be such a B about the whole thing about completely disregard that it might have a thing to do with the fact that in the past 4 damn years his father has been home for 1 holiday season.


    Oh Wow I am shocked that the teacher cant have a little bit of compassion for him. yes him writing on the desk is wrong but I wouldnt consider your son a vandal. He is just acting out his feelings as opposed to talking about them. I dont understand though why kids dont feel like they can talk about things unless they dont know how to put things into words. I hope having him talk to the counselor will help. Keep me posted how he is doing.


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    My son started seeing my therapist. (family therapist I started seeing after my 4th son, because of Postpartum and depression) He started going to before dad left. Just because I thought it would be a good idea to take him with me just to get him prepared. Well he really enjoyed going and having a outside person to talk to about his promblems. He told his best friend that he talks to her about his promblems and she helps you with them. She went to school for that, ROFLMAO.

    Anyway, she has him draw his feelings out. She started with simple stuff, like draw a picture of what you did today. Then a picture of how you feel right now. And one of his dad leaving. She would ask questions, like who are in the pictures, and are they sad or happy, and why. It has helped alot. He made a journal and he draws pictures of what he does and feels. He plans to share with his dad when he comes back on R&R. If will give a way to deal with his feelings and it will give you an insight to what more specifically what is bothering him.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by MelBell View Post
    My son started seeing my therapist. (family therapist I started seeing after my 4th son, because of Postpartum and depression) He started going to before dad left. Just because I thought it would be a good idea to take him with me just to get him prepared. Well he really enjoyed going and having a outside person to talk to about his promblems. He told his best friend that he talks to her about his promblems and she helps you with them. She went to school for that, ROFLMAO.

    Anyway, she has him draw his feelings out. She started with simple stuff, like draw a picture of what you did today. Then a picture of how you feel right now. And one of his dad leaving. She would ask questions, like who are in the pictures, and are they sad or happy, and why. It has helped alot. He made a journal and he draws pictures of what he does and feels. He plans to share with his dad when he comes back on R&R. If will give a way to deal with his feelings and it will give you an insight to what more specifically what is bothering him.

    oh thats a great idea. I am also looking for ideas for when this happens to us in the future.


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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by MelBell View Post
    My son started seeing my therapist. (family therapist I started seeing after my 4th son, because of Postpartum and depression) He started going to before dad left. Just because I thought it would be a good idea to take him with me just to get him prepared. Well he really enjoyed going and having a outside person to talk to about his promblems. He told his best friend that he talks to her about his promblems and she helps you with them. She went to school for that, ROFLMAO.

    Anyway, she has him draw his feelings out. She started with simple stuff, like draw a picture of what you did today. Then a picture of how you feel right now. And one of his dad leaving. She would ask questions, like who are in the pictures, and are they sad or happy, and why. It has helped alot. He made a journal and he draws pictures of what he does and feels. He plans to share with his dad when he comes back on R&R. If will give a way to deal with his feelings and it will give you an insight to what more specifically what is bothering him.
    The drawing idea is a fantastic one! While I'm waiting for them to set him up with the school C. I will def try that! Thank you!!

    Cat: with my son I think it has SO much to do with not being able to verbalize exactly how he is feeling. He knows he can tell me anything but if he can't get something out the right way he just gets frustrated and clams up.
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