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Thread: The only downside about living in a big house...

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    The only downside about living in a big house...

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    Is having to clean it

    Which usually isn't a problem if it's just me, but when I've got four kids bringing in papers all the time or just being messy. It's an ordeal and my only time to really clean is on the weekends.

    We've been cleaning for two hours straight and I finally told the girls that I was taking their bathroom away any all four kids can share one bathroom till they can prove to me that they can be clean. They didn't understand my logic till I told them that if they are going to make me clean it anyway, I'd rather have less bathrooms to clean (we have four bathrooms in the house).

    I've mopped, I've vacuumed, scrubbed, cleaned,etc and I still need to find time today to go to the gym, make dinner, finish laundry, and get back to studying. And before it gets too late I told them we could watch paranormal activity three and four tonight.

    It makes me wonder... Do you think cleanliness is learned or some people are just more inclined to be neat than others?

    I don't keep a messy house, nor do I constantly pick up after the kids... So I doubt they are messy because I just pick up and do everything for them. But I'm at a total loss here. I just want them to have a sense of pride for what they have and to me, that means being clean and not gross. Not leaving trash all over and what not. I won't even get into how frustrated I am at their bathroom
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    #2
    I think its a combination of both. My sister right below me is a complete neat freak and that is completely her personality, not something that was taught. My youngest sister however is so bad at keeping things clean, a lot of that is personality but a lot of it is also as a result of her being the baby and spoiled and sharing a room with my neat sister who would always clean up for her.

    ETA: I think getting older and having your own place definitely helps with the lea thing to keep thongs clean/appreciate them.
  3. Pour a little salt, we were never here
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    #3
    Don't have kids, but do have a big house. It stays so clean when DH is away I'd rather have the mess though.

    I'm not a super clean person, neither is DH. I think we're fairly moderate. We both can make clutter and get distracted and leave things out. As a kid, I was awful, and gross. My room was disgusting and I'd forget dirty plates, etc...I didn't see why a fridge ever needed cleaning, or why it was gross to leave three days of dishes in the sink. As an adult, I never leave dishes for more than 12 hours. I keep up on laundry. I clean regularly, but not to any kind of perfect standard. A little dog hair, dust, a stack of papers is okay with me. I don't try to be perfect because that would drive me crazy, but I don't want it to be gross either.

    To your question...yes there are some who always prefer perfection and others who never care, but I think I fit somewhere in the middle. As a kid I didn't understand tidying up when someone came over for dinner, I thought it was silly and pretentious...now, like if my MIL comes over I try to have the fridge clean because I know she'll bring food and need a space to put it. If my neighbors come over, I straighten the couch cushions. Everyone's perception is different on this, so I'm kind of rambling trying to convey that nothing here is gross, but it's not spick and span either.

    We visited a family this summer that has three teen/preteen kids and we were sharing their bathroom. It was DISGUSTING. I have never seen anything like it. I can't even put into words...even at my worst, I would have known that was utter filth and not good to live in. It's so hard to say, you might have overly high standards and your kids are really fine, but perception and expectations are so personal, especially when it comes to how clean your house is. My grandparents are so clean it's uncomfortable to walk into their house because you are so hyper aware that your shoes are bringing in a speck of dirt, you sitting on their couch will leave a few dog hairs from home. They're standards seem impossibly high to me, but they think it's normal and what should be expected.

    Also last note, I think it's really hard for kids who have a lot to realize how great and treasured it should be until later. I was never disrespectful or ungrateful, but there's still things I learned. When my parents told me not to hang on cabinets or drawers because they would break, I didn't understand why it matter, it could be fixed and it was "just a thing" (they taught us a persons feelings are more important than things). Now as an adult with a home, it's annoying to have a broken drawer that needs fixing. Might as well just not hang on it Perspective changes over time and it's not always from extremes, if that makes sense.
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    #4
    I think messiness is just part of a person's personality. Dh and I are both slobs but we're both VERY mentally organized. I always know where everything is in the house, know what food we have, know when things were purchased and where, know what chores need to be done etc. I read a scientific article once about how more mentally organized people have a hard time cleaning because they're too busy thinking about it instead of doing it
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    #5
    I think it's 50/50, I was brought up in a house where it was unacceptable for anything to be dirty. My step dad would come home from work trips and swipe his finger on the top of the fridge then hold it in mine or my mom's face because it was dusty. When he and my mom divorced (they were married from the time I was 2 1/2 until 17) and we moved out of the house with him our house became comfortable. It wasn't squeaky clean but it wasn't disgusting.

    As an adult, my house may be messy, that is that we may have stuff laying around occasionally or it may need to be dusted but our house is NEVER disgusting. That being said, DH grew up in a house where it was filthy. I refuse to go to my inlaws' house because it's so gross! And while he has some bad habits (leaving plates or cups in the office) he is not a filthy person as an adult.

    I think that half of your cleanliness comes from the way you're raised and what you see as proper standards for a house is kept and half comes from your personality and how much it means to you to have a nice house.


  6. So lost and wandering.
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    #6
    My kids havent gotten the message for sure. Kids by nature are messy. they dont care about mess. Honestly think about it. They poop, pee, puke on themselves for 2-3 years with no problems. Then they make dirt pies and play in the river with not a care in the world.

    My kids are responsible for their own messes. No debates allowed. If they dont get to play with their toys because it took them 5 hours to simply do 5 minutes of work then that is a natural consequence. They only get acertain amount of tv as is, and if that time is missed because they didnt get stuff done, then that is a natural consequnce.
  7. We must have pie. Stress can't exist in the presence of pie.
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    #7
    I was raised with a OCD mother, and I am not a cleaning nut at all. We were raised to were there couldn't be a spot of dirt, or the house was 'filthy' and we'd have to do everything over again. None of it stuck with me. I think personality plays a role. Although, one thing she taught me stuck. The house HAS to be immaculate when someone is coming over.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by StuckInKorea View Post
    I was raised with a OCD mother, and I am not a cleaning nut at all. We were raised to were there couldn't be a spot of dirt, or the house was 'filthy' and we'd have to do everything over again. None of it stuck with me. I think personality plays a role. Although, one thing she taught me stuck. The house HAS to be immaculate when someone is coming over.
    I wonder what my kids will say about me. I have OCD and am a little over the top sometimes, but seriously cannot help it.
  9. We must have pie. Stress can't exist in the presence of pie.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Icryinbaseball View Post
    I wonder what my kids will say about me. I have OCD and am a little over the top sometimes, but seriously cannot help it.
    My mom was WAY over the top...lol. It still doesn't bother me, just makes me laugh when I look back. They'll know that, I'm sure
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    #10
    I think it's just a person's personality and nothing they learn growing up. Some people are just more scatter brained and don't mind messes, while others are immaculate. I am borderline OCD, I can't stand messes. Everything has to be cleaned up right away or it will drive me crazy. I don't have kids yet though, so I am sure my ways of thinking will change then!
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