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Thread: I live in a fish bowl.

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    #1

    I live in a fish bowl.

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    This is the first time we've lived on post. We're only here a year and DH is doing some pretty intense training so it just made sense. But, I am a city girl. I grew up in a city of 2 million people. My first week here I went to the commissary and saw three people I knew. I am not familiar with that... And as a kind of antisocial person it's like my nightmare. I feel like I always have to be on, always friendly, always becoming, especially because all of DHs commanders know him and recognize him because he's prior enlisted and quite a bit older than all the other kids.

    How do I deal with living in a fish bowl? It makes me not want to go out :| which is totally irrational but I'm not a sociable person, I'm very introverted and need my time to recharge. But I don't want people to think I'm a crotchety old hermit who stays at home.


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    #2
    Do you think you'd be less likely to see people you know off post?



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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by bdizzle View Post
    This is the first time we've lived on post. We're only here a year and DH is doing some pretty intense training so it just made sense. But, I am a city girl. I grew up in a city of 2 million people. My first week here I went to the commissary and saw three people I knew. I am not familiar with that... And as a kind of antisocial person it's like my nightmare. I feel like I always have to be on, always friendly, always becoming, especially because all of DHs commanders know him and recognize him because he's prior enlisted and quite a bit older than all the other kids.

    How do I deal with living in a fish bowl? It makes me not want to go out :| which is totally irrational but I'm not a sociable person, I'm very introverted and need my time to recharge. But I don't want people to think I'm a crotchety old hermit who stays at home.
    If you don't want to run into people you may know then don't shop at the commissary, because that will happen a lot. Shop out in town instead.

    We've lived on base at 3 different bases. We go out a lot away from the base, so I have never felt like I was in a "fish bowl".




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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    If you don't want to run into people you may know then don't shop at the commissary, because that will happen a lot. Shop out in town instead.

    We've lived on base at 3 different bases. We go out a lot away from the base, so I have never felt like I was in a "fish bowl".
    This is true because we are on fort Bragg which has a bajillion people and I still run into people I know at the commissary... And there are 2 separate commissaries! If you have to shop at the commissary try going at not peak time maybe later towards closing time. Otherwise wear headphones and look busy with a list
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    Quote Originally Posted by April Lynne View Post
    Do you think you'd be less likely to see people you know off post?
    Maybe. This town is so small compared to SA.

    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    If you don't want to run into people you may know then don't shop at the commissary, because that will happen a lot. Shop out in town instead.

    We've lived on base at 3 different bases. We go out a lot away from the base, so I have never felt like I was in a "fish bowl".
    the closest store that isn't the ghetto is like a 20 minute drive from the gate.

    But, even if I shopped off post, just doing regular things I feel like I'm running into people. I work on post at the education center, which definitely doesn't help the fishbowl feeling. It's just a huge adjustment to go from a giant metropolitan city to... this. Even the "city" outside of the post feels tiny.


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    also I don't *want* to be the person that purposefully avoids everyone. I'd love to be that bizarre nice housewife who greets everyone with a smile and a southern "oh my gosh, how are you darlin'??!" but that's so just not me I don't want rumors going around that I'm mean or rude, and I want the younger girls to feel like they can come and talk to me or ask questions bc I've been there done that. Yesterday at the "spouse social", against my better judgement, I gave my number to a girl who got married like, two weeks ago, and her husband just joined. Told her if she ever has questions or wants to talk she can call me. But even doing that was .. a huge step. DH was impressed with me. I'm just a weird antisocial nut. I guess I need advice on how not to be like that


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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by bdizzle View Post
    Maybe. This town is so small compared to SA.



    the closest store that isn't the ghetto is like a 20 minute drive from the gate.

    But, even if I shopped off post, just doing regular things I feel like I'm running into people. I work on post at the education center, which definitely doesn't help the fishbowl feeling. It's just a huge adjustment to go from a giant metropolitan city to... this. Even the "city" outside of the post feels tiny.
    I had the opposite problem because I grew up in such a teeny town then went to college in a slightly larger but still small town then I moved to the Houston area (even though Conroe is still pretty small) and now I feel like I don't know anyone!! I'm glad my bff has moved to my neighborhood



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    #8
    I live on post (because we have to ) and also in a REALLLLLY tiny town and there are still so many things to do outside. It blows my mind how many people just sit on post. You have to get out! Don't shop at the commissary every time, find hobbies to do outside of post, take your dogs to the park, etc...

    You're new so you probably don't know everything the town has to offer yet. After two years of living here I still keep finding cool new hiking trails, friends, restaurants and activities.

    PS I am going to start referring to our post as a fishbowl now.


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    #9
    That was hands down the worst part of living in Louisiana for me. Like besides the fact that Louisiana is just a shithole with nothing good to offer, it was extremely rare that I could go anywhere at all without running into somebody I knew and I hated it. You just have to get over it lol. There's really nothing else you can do. You don't have to be "on" just be polite when you see somebody. Nobody is going to think you're weird or rude unless you are being weird or rude.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    That was hands down the worst part of living in Louisiana for me. Like besides the fact that Louisiana is just a shithole with nothing good to offer, it was extremely rare that I could go anywhere at all without running into somebody I knew and I hated it. You just have to get over it lol. There's really nothing else you can do. You don't have to be "on" just be polite when you see somebody. Nobody is going to think you're weird or rude unless you are being weird or rude.
    just be polite when you see people you know; there's no need to have full blown conversation with them usually just a nod and a smile will work in the grocery store or a quick "hi".
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