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Thread: First time living together, moving across the country, eep!

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    First time living together, moving across the country, eep!

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    For now, my boyfriend and I are long distance while I save up and prepare to join him in a few months. I'm brand new to a lot of the experiences that I've had in this relationship. I've never had a 1,000 mile long distance relationship (longest was 50 miles maybe?), I've never dated someone in the military, and, come a few months from now, I've never lived with a significant other.

    There's so much that I'm looking forward to and there's so much that I'm anxious about! I can't wait to just have him around, for at least 6 months out of the year, and to start our lives together. But I'm scared to leave my friends and family, I've never lived outside of the state that I grew up in, and I don't know what to expect. I'm not even sure how long we'll be there for.

    So I guess what I'm looking for is maybe some words of wisdom from people who have done this whole moving thing a time or two. How do you get jobs 1,000 miles away? Do you just have to wait until you get out there? I've been putting in applications but recruiters just keep saying to call when I'm closer to moving out. How do you adjust/ make friends so that your SO isn't your whole social life? How do you adjust to sharing so much with someone you love? Basically, in general, what are some things I can expect and how can I prepare for this? It's weird to know that all these changes are coming, but it's not time to pack boxes and file change of address forms just yet. I really couldn't be happier though!
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    The best advice I can give you is look at this next chapter in your life as an adventure. There may be times at the beginning when you are homesick, but it will pass. As for jobs start applying for them now, and you could explain your situation of what date you will be out there in your cover letter. A lot of companies don't mind doing phone interviews. I have had a few family members and friends find jobs in a new location, and got the job just from the phone interview. Other companies will start with a phone interview, and you may need to fly out to have an in person interview. Good luck!
  3. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
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    My first question... is he a new military man of rank E3 or below?

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
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    How do you get jobs 1,000 miles away: I was in Florida and DH (then DB) was 3000+ miles away in Alaska when I moved up to live with him. Check sites such as careerbuilder and monster to see if there are new companies to the area and are hiring soon. Also, submit your resume to staffing companies to where you're moving to. Check the state's employment websites. Alaska has the alexsys (sp) website, Florida has Employflorida.com, etc.

    How do you adjust/make friends so that your SO isn't your whole social life: I wasn't too great at this, honestly. I had a handful of friends there that were the spouses of DH's coworkers. Join a gym, dog park, activity you enjoy doing and go from there. Ex: I'm looking into joining a community orchestra/band since I have played clarinet for 12 years.

    How do you adjust to sharing so much with someone you love: I talked to DH daily and shared everything with him prior to moving in, and it wasn't a big adjustment for us really. Just seemed right.

    Things to expect and prepare: I'm not the best to answer the question, because as I stated earlier...it just worked for us moving in together.

    Good luck
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    #5
    Have you had visits with your DB before?

    I just moved from NJ to TN to live with my DF now DH and it certainly was a big change but we settled in together great. If your relationship is strong you shouldn't have anything to worry about . I usually make friends at whatever job I find to start.
  6. Fresh Newbie
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    My first question... is he a new military man of rank E3 or below?
    Yup, he's an E3.
  7. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
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    Quote Originally Posted by something_new View Post
    Yup, he's an E3.
    Ok, has he cleared it with his commander to live off base?
    Most first timers (in almost all branches) are not allowed to live off base, unless married.

    Have you got a plan in place in case he is not able to live with you? Will you be able to afford a place of your own?

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
  8. Fresh Newbie
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    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    Ok, has he cleared it with his commander to live off base?
    Most first timers (in almost all branches) are not allowed to live off base, unless married.

    Have you got a plan in place in case he is not able to live with you? Will you be able to afford a place of your own?
    He already lives off base, so it won't be an issue. But I hear you, that's actually why I'm not out there yet, I want to save up and have a job lined up so that if anything comes up I'll be fine. Because my whole situation is kind of crazy right now, I'm trying to be as practical as possible, just in case. And in any case, I want to pay my own share, for sure.
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    #9
    I moved from Ohio to Washington State to be with my DF (now DH) It's a tough adjustment but you can do it!
    We Survived Deployment #1 July 2011-Feburary 2012
    We Survived Deployment #2 July 2013-April 2014


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    #10
    i moved boston to kansas, but we were newly married. we wanted to try to live together first, but he wasn't cleared to live off base and we couldn't afford it. it was weird living so far from everything i knew, it took some time/adjustment.. but it ended up being great.

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