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Thread: not sure what I'm doing

  1. Old Newbie
    Christine8790's Avatar
    Christine8790 is offline
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    #1

    not sure what I'm doing

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    Hey guys,
    DB called it off last week. I held out hope for the last few days but we just had a final conversation about everything. I am so torn between leaving it all up to our feelings, and genuinely not having enough time. He's blaming it on not having enough time together in the same state before he PCS. I told him I was willing to move and he said it was way to "wild" to consider me moving across the country after only 4-5 months. I got mad at him for not calling it off before he left NY.. he claimed he wanted a LDR but now his tune has changed. he wants to "see the person more than two or three times a year". I feel deceived. I feel like I'm not worth fighting for and it all just feels worthless and stupid. I opened up to him about things I haven't told a lot of people about, because I really felt and believed in this.
    He says he's "willing to communicate through all of this" which kind of pisses me off... how do you communicate through a break up? This whole thing is so stupid and unfair and I just don't know what I'm doing.
    I'm sorry to unleash my negativity on y'all. But I found more solace in this forum than in a lot of my friends. So I do thank you all for your generosity and willingness to be vulnerable and truthful.
    I'm just so lost.
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Love7's Avatar
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    #2
    Break ups suck, I'm sorry you're going thru this now, but he made himself pretty clear that he isn't able to put in the effort to keep your LDR afloat. You deserve someone who can give you what you need
  3. Senior Member
    idratherbehiking's Avatar
    idratherbehiking is offline
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Christine8790 View Post
    Hey guys,
    DB called it off last week. I held out hope for the last few days but we just had a final conversation about everything. I am so torn between leaving it all up to our feelings, and genuinely not having enough time. He's blaming it on not having enough time together in the same state before he PCS. I told him I was willing to move and he said it was way to "wild" to consider me moving across the country after only 4-5 months. I got mad at him for not calling it off before he left NY.. he claimed he wanted a LDR but now his tune has changed. he wants to "see the person more than two or three times a year". I feel deceived. I feel like I'm not worth fighting for and it all just feels worthless and stupid. I opened up to him about things I haven't told a lot of people about, because I really felt and believed in this.
    He says he's "willing to communicate through all of this" which kind of pisses me off... how do you communicate through a break up? This whole thing is so stupid and unfair and I just don't know what I'm doing.
    I'm sorry to unleash my negativity on y'all. But I found more solace in this forum than in a lot of my friends. So I do thank you all for your generosity and willingness to be vulnerable and truthful.
    I'm just so lost.
    In regards to the bold, that's on him. You were willing to try and he wasn't.

    I'm sorry, hun




  4. The name says it all!
    ALil2Naughty's Avatar
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    In regards to the bold, that's on him. You were willing to try and he wasn't.

    I'm sorry, hun

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




  5. Senior Member
    AMP1984's Avatar
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    #5
    Hugs to you! I’m so sorry you’re going through this - as others have said break ups suck. Please don’t think it’s that you did something wrong or that you’re not worth fighting for. Breakups happen and no matter the circumstances they suck, he’s not ready to put the effort into a LDR at this time - that’s about him NOT you.
    Grieve the loss, but try not to get down on yourself - just because a relationship ended it doesn’t mean you’re any less awesome today than you were yesterday.

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