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Thread: At What Age?

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    #1

    At What Age?

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    At what age do you tell kids their pet has passed away vs they went to live on a farm?

    One of our dogs passed away today and I was going to tell my kids the truth but then both my mother and DB thought they might be too little (5 and 10) to really get it and that it might be better to tell them he's at a farm? My mom said her parents did that when she and my uncles were younger and it was easier for them to think of their dog Chipper as off playing on a farm rather than knowing he was dead...DB said the decision is 100% mine and he'll back whatever I decide but he thought especially my youngest (who is VERY connected to the dog) may not take it well and it might be easier to just say he's on a farm and take my mom's advice...

    Does anyone have thoughts on this?
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    #2
    I think it’s ridiculous to lie about an animal dying at any age lol. I’ve never understood why it’s less painful for your kids to think you gave their dog away? Also honestly I think that teaches kids to be flippant about animal care and see pets as disposable.
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    #3
    My first dog died when I was 10. I was there when she began convulsing and died.

    I think your kids can handle it. I would understand telling that story to a two year old. But I think your kids are old enough to know what happened.




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    #4
    My brother and I were 7 and 2 when our childhood puppy passed away and they told us the truth and how she was very old and sick and just like people, she will always be a part of our family. We talked a lot about how shes in a "better place" and a lot about the "circle of life". I don't have kids myself but I do vividly remember that and how our parents wanted it to be a lesson in coping.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Christine8790 View Post
    My brother and I were 7 and 2 when our childhood puppy passed away and they told us the truth and how she was very old and sick and just like people, she will always be a part of our family. We talked a lot about how shes in a "better place" and a lot about the "circle of life". I don't have kids myself but I do vividly remember that and how our parents wanted it to be a lesson in coping.
    I agree with this totally
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    I think it’s ridiculous to lie about an animal dying at any age lol. I’ve never understood why it’s less painful for your kids to think you gave their dog away? Also honestly I think that teaches kids to be flippant about animal care and see pets as disposable.
    This.


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    #7
    So...full disclosure...I had to put him down because he bit someone it had nothing to do with old age...that I would 100% explain to the kids.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    I think it’s ridiculous to lie about an animal dying at any age lol. I’ve never understood why it’s less painful for your kids to think you gave their dog away? Also honestly I think that teaches kids to be flippant about animal care and see pets as disposable.
    Yup. Telling them the animal went to live on a farm just creates confusion, IMO.
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    #9
    My four year old and I have recently been having conversations about dying versus being hurt. He's at an age and maturity level where he understands dying means you don't come back. I think it's important to teach that so the first interaction with the finality of death isn't the death of an important person to them if possible.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by AMP1984 View Post
    So...full disclosure...I had to put him down because he bit someone it had nothing to do with old age...that I would 100% explain to the kids.
    I still think you need to go with the truth.




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