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Thread: 5 Year Old is Scared of Everything

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    #1

    5 Year Old is Scared of Everything

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    Since DB's been deployed I am noticing a real regression with my 5 year old (he's now scared to sleep alone, scared to be in a room alone, scared to go to the bathroom alone, etc) he stopped getting dressed on his own and always asks for help or says he can't do it (when he was getting dressed on his own before) and I'm not sure that this is a normal phase or has something to do with DB being away...

    My boys share a room and one of our dogs sleep so he's literally never really alone (plus I'm down the hall in my room) but he recently started sneaking into his brother's bed because he was scared too...when I ask his what he's scared of his answer is the wolf from little red riding hood (we read the story like a month ago and it really scared him, I have explained it's a fairytale and not real) DB talked to him yesterday over Skype and told him big boys sleep in their own bed and this morning he was in his own bed and all proud of himself (which is great) but that brings me back to so does this all have to do with DB being gone?

    I do know I have a tendency to baby him - actually I'm likely guilty of babying both of them, I tend to over-compensate for their dad being MIA (he's an alcoholic and hasn't seem them in over 2 years) but I don't want them to be crybabies, I'd like to raise functioning boys. What's the line between nurturing them but also nipping the cry baby stuff? I mean my kids cry A LOT - even the 10 year old - over silly things and it seems to be noticeably worse since DB's been gone so I think it may be because they are lacking a male role model and I baby them?
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    When I was 4 or 5 my mom had to cut me off of pretty much all TV because I'd get scared over shows that weren't even scary, so maybe more normal than you'd think?
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    I'm actually taking a psychology of men course and believe that them being sad about common things is better than them acting out in aggression while he's gone. That just means he's a good role model. Aggression means that they are thinking that's the only acceptable way they should deal with things versus other feelings such as sadness, guilt, etc. As annoying as it is try not to shame them for crying. Plenty of boys grow up with not having a role model so they turn to t.v. and peers and get this hyper masculine sense that the only way to deal with problems is to be aggressive, rude, etc.

    P.S. my daughter is 5 and cries over EVERYTHING. I think it's just the age. She literally cries when she can't open a bag of potato chips or doesn't want to walk in dirty mush snow. I don't have much experience with 10 year old boys, but I do remember crying a lot at that age also...I didn't have good role models and cried alone often and sang to myself and talked to myself to cope. P.S.S. I might only be 10% crazy lol.

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