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Thread: Letters To My Children

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    #31
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    (I really want an Irish wolfhound too...)

    Dear Children,

    When I say to get in the back bedroom and do not come out until I personally come get you...that is not an optional order. That is what we have discussed as LEGITIMATE AUTHORITY. That does not mean to run out to ask what is happening when there are shots fired outside. Or when the alarm goes off. Or when you think you just have to have a glass of water right then.

    Love,
    Super-stressed and sleep-deprived Mom.
  2. "...now do Classical Gas"
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    #32
    Quote Originally Posted by anarchamom View Post
    (I really want an Irish wolfhound too...)

    Dear Children,

    When I say to get in the back bedroom and do not come out until I personally come get you...that is not an optional order. That is what we have discussed as LEGITIMATE AUTHORITY. That does not mean to run out to ask what is happening when there are shots fired outside. Or when the alarm goes off. Or when you think you just have to have a glass of water right then.

    Love,
    Super-stressed and sleep-deprived Mom.
    He was introduced to an Irish wolfhound the other day. Now it's his heart's desire. We already own a big dog, but he wants one he can ride.


    Is everything all right where you are? Gunshots don't sound promising...
    If I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell
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    #33
    Dearest son,

    As much as I appreciate your song telling me you pooped, and as much as I LOVE that you and your sister are consistant with getting to the potty...
    Just wipe. Don't ask me "why" 40 times before you will touch the toilet paper. Just trust me on this one.

    Love,
    Mommy
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    #34
    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    He was introduced to an Irish wolfhound the other day. Now it's his heart's desire. We already own a big dog, but he wants one he can ride.


    Is everything all right where you are? Gunshots don't sound promising...
    Some people apparently do not deal with anger in a mature way, and instead like to play gangster with their assault rifles. We are all fine!
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    #35
    Dear son,
    Thank you for telling me that I never have to hit the road. That was just the encouragement I needed to not abandon my family, as if those were my plans.
    Love,
    Mommy
  6. "...now do Classical Gas"
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    #36
    Most beloved Child Two,

    If you would refrain from "twanging" your penis in the bath...?

    It's not a guitar string, tesoro. Really. It's not.

    I'll admit I'm not an expert on the subject, but every time you do this I cringe. All I can think of is how much it looks like it should hurt!

    Love,
    Ma
    If I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell
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    #37
    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    Most beloved Child Two,

    If you would refrain from "twanging" your penis in the bath...?

    It's not a guitar string, tesoro. Really. It's not.

    I'll admit I'm not an expert on the subject, but every time you do this I cringe. All I can think of is how much it looks like it should hurt!

    Love,
    Ma
    My son does the same thing! He SHUT IT IN A BOOK proceeded to stretch it out and play it like a guitar!
    It's got to hurt right?
  8. "...now do Classical Gas"
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    #38
    Quote Originally Posted by Medic2Doula View Post
    My son does the same thing! He SHUT IT IN A BOOK proceeded to stretch it out and play it like a guitar!
    It's got to hurt right?
    He...he shut it in...?

    Oh my GOD. That's amazing and yet completely appalling. Not least considering the amount of fuss bigger boys make later on if someone is too rough!
    If I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell
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    #39
    Quote Originally Posted by Matchbox View Post
    He...he shut it in...?

    Oh my GOD. That's amazing and yet completely appalling. Not least considering the amount of fuss bigger boys make later on if someone is too rough!
    He did.
    He has also put it through the holes on CDs. I don't even want to understand.
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    #40
    Dear baby # 1 on the way,

    Please stay put for a few more weeks!!! I cannot wait to meet you but I want you to be as strong as possible!!

    Love your very stressed out mommy who will be on bed rest forever
    "She knew she loved him when 'home' went from being a place to being a person."
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