Refusing to eat

Okay, so when my son (4 1/2) decides he doesn't want to eat what I am feeding everyone for the night,he won't. I have tried forcing him, timer on the microwave (because one night he sat there for 1 1/2 hours and did not eat) and even telling him no snack if he doesn't eat. I KNOW he is just being picky because then an hour later he claims he is STARVING and I tell him I'll reheat his dinner and he throws a fit! I refuse to appease a child on what he wants to eat. I am the mommy and he will eat what I give him. I am so sick of the whining and crying and fighting with him at dinner time. It's not that he doesn't like it. It's just it's not what HE wants. I give him 4yr old portions so it's not like I am trying to get him to eat more than he atually can. He doesn't ruin his dinner with snacks beforehand. So, if he doesn't eat, then tough **** pretty much., I HATE to take this attitude, but I am sick of this. 9 times out of 10 he does this! He used to be such an awesome eater!

Any other suggestions on how to get him to eat? I am not planning my dinners around him. That is insane. I just need any suggestions for this.

[mara_jade81]

i have no idea. my two year old is starting to not want to eat. it's not that she doesn't like what i give her, i think she just gets distracted too easily but she can be picky. she eats when she gets hungry enough though.

[Kaymara]

If I remember right, at 5ish, if I didnt wanna eat my parents scolded me. I had to sit at the table until I ate and if I didn't I went to bed hungry. Eventually I did eat. As long as it is food he likes he shouldn't be refusing to eat. I bet it is just a stage. Have you tried a reward system? Maybe if he eats half his dinner he can stay up 30 mins later or can have an extra 10 minutes of video games or something? If he eats it all he can have dessert? I dunno. Ethan is picky too and he's only 1

[MichelleB]

I remember doing that too as a kid. My parents would make me sit there for a while, and if I didn't have my dinner eaten, then I went to bed hungry. Eventually he should get the point. Just don't give in and give him something else later on in the evening.

Yeah, I'm thinking it is a phase. If he were 1 or 2, I wouldn't be so irritated because most toddlers are like that, but he's almost 5.

Thanks girls. I just feel like such a mean mom because of this. But I guess it has to be done. *sigh*

[Kat]

What you are doing is EXACTLY what I would do. I think you are doing a great job. Evenually you will win.

[Caimbrie]

I am going through the same thing right now with my 3 year old. He's doing it with every meal though. He usually tells me what he wants to breakfast and lunch and he'll take a bite or 2 and refuse to eat anymore. The pedi told me it's normal at his age and not to worry about it, but I think he's gotten thinner in the past couple weeks that he has been doing it. All my son wants is junk and if he doesn't eat his mela i will not let him have any snacks.

I hope he starts eating better for you.

[dream]

i'm not a mom but a nanny and i'm doing the same thing with the girl i take care of, she's 5 i definitely think its a phase

[April]

It is a phase and a power struggle. I wouldnt make him sit at the table longer than the rest of the family but tell him if he wants something to eat before bed then you will reheat his food. And I dont suggest rewarding him for eating either. Disordered eating starts that way and you dont want that either.

To ease some of the power struggle, you can let him help you plan or even cook the meal. Give him choices. Ask him if we should cook green beans or spinach. If he feels more like a part of it then maybe he will feel he has some power and be more willing to eat what he chose.

Most important thing to remember is that children dont starve them selves. He will eat when he is really hungry.

[Rach]

Originally Posted by MyNuttyIrishFamily Yeah, I'm thinking it is a phase. If he were 1 or 2, I wouldn't be so irritated because most toddlers are like that, but he's almost 5. Thanks girls. I just feel like such a mean mom because of this. But I guess it has to be done. *sigh*

I don't blame you! That's what my parents did to me and I'm sure I'll be the same way if my kid is like that!