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Thread: Finances during deployment...

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    #1

    Finances during deployment...

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    Hey all, so my DH is deployed and is in port most of the time, which means when he has a day off he goes off the ship with the accompanying eating out and occasional partying. Which is fine, I understand that they need a change of scenery and blow off some steam. My question is how much would you expect him to spend? I set up YNAB and I'm not doing a good enough job keeping up with it - that is putting all our transactions in there... But I allocate him a lot more blow money than me cause he's away and obv he's not a part of the grocery budget etc, but I still feel like he's overspending and he always goes over the budget. How can I motivate him to do better? We're both used to having another stream of income but now I stay home with the baby and go to school so I don't have time to do traditional work (I do direct sales but it hasn't turned into a steady income yet), so we're stuck on only his income which is not gloriously high as most of you probably know!

    What kinda did it today was that he pulled out his blow money yesterday but then ended up having to use his card anyways cause he left the money on the ship when he went out. So he spent like $150 in addition to what he pulled out, which meant there was just enough money left in the account to pay our bills, with about $100 as a buffer. He JUST got paid, and we're in the exact same situation as we were before payday. I now have to scramble to be able to get gas and groceries for the next couple of weeks, and probably will end up using money my family gave me for my birthday - which was meant to do something special with. Oh - and I can't go to his command's halfway-through-the-deployment party because it's an hour away and would mean $40 in gas.

    I mostly eat at home, I get lunch at school about once per week and only if I don't have leftovers that I can take with me. I don't do Starbucks, haven't bought myself clothes in months, and my Sephora points are stagnant.

    So essentially I'm trying to let him off the hook because he's alone and far away, but at the same time I'm not able to do anything over here because the money is all gone. Add on my feelings about not having money of my own - why shouldn't he get to spend his hard earned money - and you've got a real emotional mess! I've never not worked and never not had some sort of fall back money, but now I don't. I'm JUST a stay at home mom and a student.

    What have your DH's been spending while at deployment? Is this normal (first time deployment for both of us)?
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    First, you need to set down what is the minimum amount you need each month to pay all the bills, groceries, etc.
    Then talk to him about the budget, and why it is important to stick to.
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    Well I've done that - he just has a really hard time sticking to it and he doesn't seem to realize it will affect us in the long run (like not being able to save etc)
    He doesn't really want to deal with the budget, just wants to know the amount he can spend, but in the end he ignores it.
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    I would suggest opening a separate account and as soon as you get paid separate the amount you need for bills so that he doesn't have access to that while he is away. Then both of you will have time to get used to the flow of money and still have money to pay bills. Talk to him aboutdoing that and see where his head is at. That way he can still have some money to blow and not feel so trapped. At the same time you'll have enough for the bills and food. It's important that he feels like he can spend his hard earned money but at the same time he has an obligation to take care of his family.
    If it really bothers you, you'll have to get a part time job and maybe take online courses to finish school.
    Hopefully it all works out for you! Good luck!
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    Thanks, yeah I think a separate account would be best. I have under a year left to get my bachelor's and I can't do online classes from my university (at least not full time), and me getting a part time job would hardly pay off cause then we would just have the added expense of daycare/nanny/babysitter.
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    #6
    What does Lv. Percent mean? I can't find it anywhere... lol
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    #7
    When my husband was deployed I just set up a separate spending account and budget for it. That way if he charged anything it wouldn't affect the household and he knew exactly what he was working with

    ETA: when my husband was deployed I transferred $150-$200 every two weeks as spending money for him and he stuck to it overall. Grant it, he didn't come back with souvenirs at homecoming but we were better off financially
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    Yeah that sounds about how we should do it. Just summed up what we've spent thus far in February and he's spent twice as much as me :O that's me counting groceries, gas, and my blow money. If I only count my blow money I've spent 10% of what he has! But yeah, signing into navy federal now to open a new account lol

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