his and her checkbooks or joint?

[Shannon Marie]

So when we got married we got a joint accound. Seems to work out fine. But I find it hard to get out of "my money/his money" mind frame. I hate buying anything if i know he just got paid thus it is HIS money. And vis versa. Any suggestions?

Oh, and the reason we got a joint was just because he is going to training for a while as well as being TDY and it would be easier if i could just handle all the finances from here from one account. KWIM?

Anyway, any helpful hints would be appreciated.

[USNIwife]

what I have witnessed (btw, I'm married) will alot of couples (typically married, but not necessarily) is money is 1 of 2 ways.
I think this depends on what will work for you both. If your happy with a JT account, cool, kudos and if not, things are separate, cool, kudos. B/C $$ is an important and unimportant topic within reason. Depends on how important it is to both of you and how you feel about it. You know what I mean?!

[KissTheRain]

we have 3 accounts, his, mine, and ours. My money goes into my account, his into his, money to handle bills goes into the joing from our personal accounts. Works great to keep money separate but still great for bill paying.

[Jennifer]

All of our accounts are joint, but one is primarily mine, one is primarily his. Neither of us cares whose money it is, because either he works at work to earn it or i am working at home to earn it.

[diapason05]

We've only been married a little while, but I pretty much handle all our finances now, even though I don't have a job at the moment.
We kept his Florida bank because it was easier to pay the car loan to that bank, but while he's gone I've got a checkbook full of blank, signed checks! I generally pay our bills with either his checkbook or I transfer money to our joint account so I can buy groceries/gas. Our goal by the end of this deployment is to pay off all of our bills, except his jeep, and to save about 10k for the second "real" wedding we are planning for our first anniversary.
I like being the family financial advisor. ;D

[Jennie]

We have a joint account thru Navy Fed and then I have my own account that I use for Avon and for emergencies, if needed.

I bought him an xbox 360 last year for his bday with our joint account. His friends, not him, made me feel bad because they kept saying crap like "well she bought you a gift with your own damn money" and "you work hard for her to spend it" to him. It really bothered me. My separate account never has enough in it to do anything with it, except buy gas.

I would like to have a job to contribute my money into the Navy Fed account as well so it won't seem like it's just "his", but that's really not an option now.

[Steph*]

We've always had a joint account.

My paychecks go into savings. His go into checking.

[sharine25]

I know how you are feeling..I have always been independent and was working before I married him. But then when we got married and move to Germany, things changed and I was not making anymore money..So I hate spending his money even though he insists it's OUR money. We have joint accounts but I also have a personal account with money I had saved prior to marriage which I used for emergency or when I feel bad using his money. Since he's deployed, I am incharged of all the finances and paying the bills and I am proud to say that we don't have anymore debt since early October.

It's really all in the head with whether spending your money or your husband money...I mean I joke with DH that "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine" But seriously at the end of the day, it is both your money. if you feel really uncomfortable, why don't you ask your DH to give you an allowance every month so that the money you spend is money that you know he gave you to spend..Sort of payment for cooking and cleaning the house, etc...Maybe that will make you feel better..

Be glad that your DH trust you with his money because there are some DH out there who don't trust their wives at all. DH was married before me and on his first deployment she spend 8000 in 6 months on his CC on shopping, paying trips for her family, buying stuff...So instead of saving, he had to pay off all his CC debt because of her..DH trust me with the money because he knows that I am very anal about money and into budgeting. So we don't have a problem there...But I have seen wives who go into spending spree as soon as their Dh leaves and rake up a lot of CC debt.

[dotb182]

Originally Posted by AshleyReida we have 3 accounts, his, mine, and ours. My money goes into my account, his into his, money to handle bills goes into the joing from our personal accounts. Works great to keep money separate but still great for bill paying.

My db and I have talked when/if we ever get married this is what we're doing.. bc as long as the bills get paid, and we both contribute to saving alittle in the joint account we could care less what the other blows their money on

[gunsgirl]

we have our accounts seperate;
I have a checking and savings he has a checking and savings..

my money never goes into his accounts and his money doesn't go into my accounts.

his money is our money and my money is our money- but this is the way we started out when we lived together and it worked out so well we have kept it that way..

also note that we pay bills like room mates too-

DH pays certian ones and I pay certian ones- even while he was deployed I payed bills out of two accounts- his and mine-

also to clarify we are both users on each others accounts- so we do have access- but mostly for the survivorship in case something happens to one of us.