Quote Originally Posted by Lope View Post
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. He got deployed early January and is due to return July. All this is new to me from dating a soldier, to being an Army girlfriend and coping with deployment. The relationship has not been easy, prior to his deployment we used to get into arguments. We would argue about about my feelings not being heard, when I tell him how I felt he would just ignore me like my feelings didn't matter and after carry on like nothing had happened, this was the main issue, other arguments were about not spending enough time together and him saying he would do something and never come through e.g. He would tell me he would come and see me and not follow through or he would say he would call and didn't, the worst part is he never apologise. He is quite stubborn. It was a rollercoaster but we championed on into his deployment, the arguments didn't stop though. I started picking fights with him probably cause I still resented him over the lack of effort with me & still felt unappreciated. For both my Birthday and Christmas he bought me nothing while I bought him thoughtful gifts throughout the course of relationship and have been sending him care packages while he is deployed. I feel like the relationship just benefits him, I've done so much for this man, cooked for him, buy him gifts even lend him money but he has never felt the need to do anything for me, he has never made an effort to make me happy nor get to know me. I UNDERSTAND that while he is deployed he can't make much effort with me, he needs to focus on his job, and I suppose we have been fortunate that he has wifi and we chat on WhatsApp but he has decided for his R&R he is going to a different country with fellow soldiers, I mean he tells me that he misses me so much yet when the opportunity arises to come home and see me, he decides not to, me the person who has been waiting on him and looking after him by sending him boxes. Initially I thought he did love me as he is aways against us breaking up but I think I'm just convenient. He doesn't think of me or consider me, it seems like it's too much for him to do stuff for me, even something as small as getting 1 birthday card. I feel the need to break it off with him as I'm the giver and he's the taker but I know it would be super selfish to do it while he is deployed. Am I being unreasonable and also should I wait till he comes back to break it off?
And you're asking what!?

From the information you have provided, it sounds to me as if he doesn't really deserve the thought you are putting into sparing his feelings during this deployment. I agree with everyone else: end it now.