I found out part of what was bothering him...

[hollyrhodes]

........He told me that i was telling him that i loved him and i missed him too much. He says he cant deal with all the emotional sappy stuff, He knows i love him and he doesnt have to keep hearing it. I dont know how to feel about it but im just glad it was nothing more than that. I told him i was going based of stuff he told me before about how he wanted to tell him stuff like that and talk about the future and stuff but i would stop telling him as much.


Have any of you experienced this? Before r&r he was the emotional one always telling me how he felt and so i got used to hearing that stuff cause i heard it for nearly 4 months straight all the time about how he felt and things he wanted and now he doesnt say anything or want to hear it. I feel kinda lost. Where is the happy medium?

He did tell me that he wants to hear about hte wedding plans but he just doesnt want to make any decisions. This is our day i want him to have imput but he gets pissy when i ask his opinion and just says make a decision.

Sorry this is so long......TIA

[Holly M.]

Mine was opposite
Before He left he didn't want to talk about it or hear about it and he wasnt' very sappy.
Now he is overyly sappy and wants to talk all wedding. I dont' know men are odd to begin with deployed men are just crazy.
My advice go with the flow, cause it'll change again soon ya know?

[jellybeanqueen]

yea brian pretends the missing you sappy stuff doesnt exist.. it helps him deal with it when it gets hard.

id say forget what he said earlier and listen to him NOW, if this is what he needs NOW and hes telling you this NOW then you should do it. (not talk about the sappy stuff and try to talk about it in a matter of fact way when it comes to your wedding like "i have 2 colors, chose" LOL)

[TallBlondie82]

I have the opposite problem...he is the one telling me he loves me too much haha

Im sorry sweetie...I hope everything works out for you

[hollyrhodes]

I have no problem listening to what he says now I understand i need to listen to him and do what he asks. I just wish that he wouldnt have let it build up for so long and would have just told me before hand.

[CarLooSHoo]

I haven't had this problem, but it sounds so normal. All the men handle it differently ya know?

[BJo]

Yeah, he said he got sick of hearing I love you and miss you all of the time. Sometimes though, that's all I could think of to say!

[Skroby's Girl]

I think he is being honest with you and that is what counts.

[mickeysbabygirl]

I'm always scared of telling my DB that I miss him too much :/

[AmyandherAirman]

Hi Holly, I've had the same problem as you!! DB seemed like he was pulling away and I would just lay on the "I miss you's". I confronted him about it and he told me that his feelings haven't changed for me at all, but it was just that in order for him to get thru the deployment he couldn't focus on missing me.. it actually made it harder for him and time passed more slowly. He's been a grump for a long time, but I just try to be as supportive as I can. I know now that it's just the mindset he has to have for him to get thru it. My grumpy gus sent me a nice gift in the mail for putting up with him and helping him out, so I guess my support was just what he needed. Don't let him get away with being a jerk, but do understand that some of these guys limit what they feel so they can just get thru the deployment! Hang in there!