Questions for all you married ladies!

[CarLooSHoo]

Hey ladies! So I have some questions. Me and DF just got engaged during Christmas, and now we're trying to figure out when we should get married. At first, we were talking about waiting until after his first deployment. He is currently finishing up his AIT and should be done really soon, we're actually finding out where he gets stationed hopefully by the weekend. With that, he said that there would be a strong possibility he could be going to South Korea. Here are my questions, do you think it's better to wait to get married after they come home, or get married before they get deployed? And if DF does go to Korea, I know I can't go with him even if we were married. And, to plan a wedding, do they get a certain amount of leave to get married? Because I've always wanted a big wedding and I want a honeymoon too, so how long of leave would he get? Sorry for all the questions and I appreciate everyone who answers! Thanks!

[lacy+chk]

i don't know how the army works with leave...but
for getting married!!!

[rosebud*]

if time permits they can get leave to get married. They don't get special leave for getting married, just whatever time they have on the books. Personally I would get married before deployment. That is just me though.

[inmansgirl06]

he can take whatever leave he has on the books (and i know for the MC you can take out like 10 more days than you have on the books and just like "earn" them back). And there are benifits to being married before a deployment, extra money being the biggest one. But really it just all depends on what yall want...good luck and congrats!!

[TPuckey]

me personally.. i would get married before a deployment. the extra money can build a great nest egg for you guys, not to mention the other benefits like insurance, etc. i had a big wedding, and looking back, i realize that half those people there didn't really care, that when it came right down to it, it was just me and him.. but again, it's personal preference. you can still have an amazing wedding but not big and in need of extra planning. try some island sites or beautiful wedding places in the US, and just invite closest friends and family. just some ideas .. on the engagement!!!

[MissJasmin25]

we got married a month before his deployment. He got about 3 days off but it was just a JOP wedding nothing big. I am still in school, and I want to wait until after I graduate to have a big wedding with my family. I would definitely get married before deployment. You get insurance, you get more money, you get all the info that a wife gets about his whereabouts etc, plus if God forbid anything were to happen to him- you guys made it official....

I know you want a big wedding, so did i, but we just had a JOP wedding that way we can save money for a big wedding for when he gets back. All the extra money is going in a wedding fund and a student loan fund haha.

[MissJasmin25]

opps posted twice

[jen1982]

As for the leave thing, my husband was "supposed" to get permissive TDY for 10 days after we got married. But, we were married on a Friday, and all of a sudden on Monday they sent him to the Pre-Ranger course on short notice. He never did end up getting that TDY.

I would say go ahead and get married. It would be a nice way for him to know that you are taken care of at home, if he has to go away. A friend of ours got married to his long time girlfriend right before our guys deployed, and he gave that very reason. At least he would know she would be able to go to the Dr. if she needed, and they would be able to save more money than they would if they weren't married.

Good luck hon! Congrats on your engagement!

[NWnavywife]

I would get married before he got deployed . The benefits are good but its even more then that . If you are married you get notified if something happens . That was one of the things before we were married that always scared me . His brother would know before I did ....also its incredible being married to that perfect guy ....good luck on your choice whatever it is .

[jssheila]

Originally Posted by PmOcLj do you think it's better to wait to get married after they come home, or get married before they get deployed? And, to plan a wedding, do they get a certain amount of leave to get married? Because I've always wanted a big wedding and I want a honeymoon too, so how long of leave would he get?

If you get married before deployment there is a lot of extra money he can get. But on the flip side you would be spending your first year of marriage not together. That is up to you.
I doubt he will get any leave time except whatever they give him after AIT. You earn 2.5 days of leave time for every month you are in the army, so he probably doesn't have much available.
My husband had been in the army for 7 years when we got married and even though he had leave time he wasn't sure they were going to give it to him. So we planned our big wedding for labor day weekend just to make sure he could make it. As it turned out they gave him 5 days of leave. We didn't have a honeymoon, but he was based in Hawaii at the time so we call it our 4.5 month honeymoon in hawaii before we moved to Kansas