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Thread: 1st timer wanting to talk

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    #1

    Neutral 1st timer wanting to talk

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    My boyfriend of almost a year just left for deployment today. This is my first time dating someone in the military and I truly am just looking for some advice. He will be gone for 6 months and I feel like I don't know what to do. It has only been a a day and I already have not stopped crying. I can't imagine doing this for 6 months straight. How do y'all do it?!
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    #2
    Take a deep breath. It isn't an easy road, but you can do it! I'm here if you need to talk.

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.


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    #3
    My man left for a year deployment 2 weeks ago! My first deployment with him but not his first, although it's his longest, so I'm new to this as well. I don't have much advice from personal experience as it's been only a couple weeks, but I have been given advice from others who have been through this and from where I'm standing it seems to be good advice! This is what I have been told: make small goals (daily or weekly) and focus on them instead of trying to count down the year etc; stay busy/continue to live my life; make new routines...

    I don't know if any of that helps...I think deployment is going to be tough, but I keep thinking to myself a year is nothing compared to a lifetime
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    Being apart is never easy. One thing that is great today rather than in the early nineties, when I experienced that for the first time is that the Internet exists! It makes communication so much easier and helps the both of you to stay connected quicker and without the dreaded wait of mail delivery. It gets easier each day. Just cherish the moments you get to chat and try not to stress when you have a period of time where you don't hear from him.
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    #5
    For me, staying super busy is important to keep my mind off things. I write a ton of letters and send a care package at least once a month. The letters make me feel like I am talking to him in a way. I have two jobs, an internship, and go to school full time (this being my last quarter of school!! finallyyyyyyy). I also play slow pitch softball some nights as something fun and go out with my friends. The first week of saying goodbye was the worst for me, but each day it gets a little easier to get out of bed and stop crying. It just feels like something is missing. But absolutely, if you can Skype, or call, or message cherish those moments like the others said! If you stay busy, or do something different you also have more to talk about too! And most importantly, you will get through it, something I have to tell myself all the time. Time will keep on going no matter what which means you're one day closer!
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    #6

    Smile Stay busy!

    My husband left 2 weeks ago for his second deployment, so I kind of know what to expect. I have kids that keep me occupied so it helps keep my mind off of it. I try to stay as busy as I can to make the time pass by faster. This is going to be a long year for sure. We get a short visit for Thanksgiving then he is off for another 9 months. I have already accepted the fact that there are going to be days/weeks that I don't hear from him at all. I don't know if you are religious but whenever I start to cry and get sad/discouraged I just pray about it and it helps me feel better. What keeps me going is all the good things that we have planned for our lives when he comes home. Hang in there it gets tough some days you wanna give up but you just have to remember that it will be over before you know it.
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    #7
    I am in a similar situation which is why I also recently joined this forum, I have so many things to keep me busy, so many plans to make the year go by...he arrived in country recently....very recently

    I feel like an idiot having panic attacks over this deployment, in fact I myself was in the Army, but I will say for me its so much easier being the one leaving, this is my first time as a spouse. I am hoping to find an outlet here as well with people who understand the emotional process this takes, and a place to vent.

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