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Thread: Uneasiness of Deployment...

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    love143's Avatar
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    #1

    Neutral Uneasiness of Deployment...

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    Hi All,

    (Newbie here-this is my first post) :)

    "Almost" halfway through our deployment and "Bam!" those uneasy feelings start to flood in. Being married for 13 years with a preteen, with many moves and several deployments I still find myself struggling with insecurities. DH has a cell phone and we used to text, talk or skype almost daily... if only to say, "I Love You." Now, it's like he's not interested, doesn't respond back, or just seems distant. I have brought it to his attention by casually asking if he's ignoring me or have I done something wrong. His response was basically, "no I love you and all is good, I'm just busy."- I get it! But I damn sure don't like it. lol! I can handle a lot of things in deployments but I can't stand it when you hit that wall of having hardly anything to say.. other than the obvious, "How are you(s)?"-"I Love You(s)"- "I miss you(s)." I know that this will pass soon or at least within the next few months because the excitement for Homecoming will be upon us.

    I'm simply just trying to get through the old familiar, "deployment wall".

    - Considering I don't have many friends or family I appreciate having a place to vent! Thanks for reading.
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    #2
    Try to keep in mind that during deployment (depending on where the are and their line of work) they are surrounded by mainly men, almost ALL the time. They get used to the short, cold, emotionless conversations because this is how they communicate with their male friends and coworkers. Again, I don't want to generalize everyone, but this was the situation for DH and maybe it is similar for yours!

    I know that doesn't make it better or provide much relief, but it always allowed me to give DH the benefit of the doubt during deployments. He is a big softy but once he is in deployment mode, he is very serious and his communication style tends to stay in deployment mode 24/7. I'm sure he will snap back once he is home!
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    Never Doubt. Doubt feeds into presumptuous mind games that ultimately feeds into your consciousness that everything -IS- not what it should be. Our brain is so finicky that it tries to associate a thought with an emotion (So on and so forth). So when you don't hear from him or if you do hear from him, but it's not what you expect of him, you start to associate that with emotional distance, and then start to question things that shouldn't be question. I do this all the time. It's called overthinking lol. Assure yourself that he loves you. Heck, he wouldn't have asked you to marry him, be the mother of his child(children?) and stick it through with him for 13 years. If anything, he's proud of you and feels blessed to have such a partner stand by him-- someone who can endure this lifestyle. It ain't fucking easy (excuse my french). Anyway, it's okay to wander into doubt, but don't dwell on it. Nothing good is going to come out of it. Head up! Chin up! You got this

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