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Thread: Coping with bad days

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    Bublebathnwine's Avatar
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    #1

    Coping with bad days

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    So like most of you (I'm assuming), when I'm having a bad day my boyfriend is the person that calms me and just talking about it with him makes me feel better. But I don't want to spend our time talking about negative things and I don't want him to worry about me when there are things he actually needs to worry about. How do y'all deal with this? I am having one of those days where I miss him so much and it was just a rough day. I haven't been able to talk to him since he left and that's probably part of it. If you have any advice I'd love to hear it! I'm considering a journal that will act as my him for the bad stuff while he's gone. Did writing help y'all?
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    #2
    I have been experiencing some bad days as well, and I want to try keeping a journal too! I once had an English Professor who kept a "burn journal" (and her wife did the same) and anytime either of them were upset, they would write in the journal and let out their feelings. It was a shared knowledge/respect that the other person wouldn't ever read the journal.

    Also, I can completely relate to having your SO as your main source of calm... I feel the same way about mine! But I also worry about putting too much stress on him. Something that I did while my man was in training, was I wrote him lots of letters. He didn't respond very much... as it turns out he really didn't have time to write, but it made me feel like I was talking to him (even just writing to him - you don't necessarily have to send it).
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    #3
    When I am having a bad day I dont want to be around anyone, not even my husband. I will go for a hike or go lay outside, alone. I gain my energy and clarity from being outside and being alone (I am very much an introvert LOL). Sometimes writing it out helps me too. I also like to just sit in my car and listen to sad sappy songs, for some reason that kind of lets my emotions flow and cheers me up.
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    #4
    Listening to the same ole sad playlist and writing in a journal has helped me for a few days now. I think it's important for myself to put this stuff down on paper that way in a year when he's back home I can look back and remember what I went through, my thoughts and feelings. I think it'll make me respect our relationship on a whole new level as well as make feel better about what I did on my own when he wasn't home.
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    #5
    Thank you ladies! I've been writing emails to him as things happen and filling him in on life while he's away as I would if he were here. I am not a crier and spontaneously bursting into tears is new. I was at the nail salon and heard a love song and lost it while I was getting my nails done.

    I love the idea of a "burn book." I don't want to burden him with the stressful things. His priority needs to be his and his guys' safety. I think not being able to talk to him yet is making me insecure like he's choosing not to talk to me which I realize is crazy and illogical but I'm dealing with a lot of emotions I never had.

    I don't have any friends going through anything like this and live no where near a base with women going through the same thing and I'm new to the area (South FL) so I don't have a solid base of local girlfriends. I joined Bumble BFF so I'm hoping to find nice girls just to do fun things with to be distracted! But you guys made me feel better that I'm not being dramatic and overly emotional.

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