Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Confused and Sad... Update

  1. Fresh Newbie
    FloridaGirl2015's Avatar
    FloridaGirl2015 is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    14
    #1

    Confused and Sad... Update

    Advertisements
    Hey Folks... I'm looking for advice from those who have been there.

    I posted earlier in Jan. about not hearing from by DB in 3 months...although he sent Christmas gifts to me and family... and at the time, I was only made aware that he contacted his brother (on Thanksgiving). Well, his mother pulled me aside the other day and wanted to speak to me.

    She said she was "concerned" and wanted to know how long it has been since I spoke to my DB, because she has heard from him 3xs since Thanksgiving, and is concerned because she said she "thinks I should be the one receiving most of the communication from him; no one else.

    I'm confused and sad... the last time he communicated with me. everything was fine and it appeared that we were still together... He sent me a message - and to be honest, my response was an emotional one... I was frustrated with his lack of communication and the fact that he didn't try harder to communicate with me... (thinking back, at the time, I was the only one really getting communication from him)......But now this... complete radio silence for 3 going on 4 months.

    I have sent letters, emails (to his personal and through a friend via a mil account).... and.... I have gotten nothing.

    Now, his mother is concerned for me... she is extremely genuine and a kind woman.... so this makes me think I am being played

    All of his friends and family know about me; as he made it his business to introduce me to everyone before he shipped out...and told me cultivate a relationship with them while he was gone.

    What should I do?... Let it go or keep staying faithful?... I need help and advice.... This is my first time dating anyone in the Military, and this is his first deployment. He is an officer so i don't know if that counts for anything; but I know he has used a phone to contact his mother and brother.
  2. Senior Member
    missinghim's Avatar
    missinghim is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    9,316
    #2
    There is absolutely no reason for you to have no contact with him in four months. None at all. Especially since he's contacted his family members rather than contacting you. I would let the relationship go, it sounds to me that he has. I don't mean that to be cold in any way, but there is just no plausible reason for you to not have received an email, Skype call, or phone call in four months.
    Never do anything halfway unless you want to be half happy.

    Is this a dream? If it is, please don't wake me from this high. I'd become comfortably numb
    until you opened up my eyes to what it's like when everything is right...I can't believe you found me ♥
  3. Senior Member
    dekeoboe's Avatar
    dekeoboe is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    3,834
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by missinghim View Post
    There is absolutely no reason for you to have no contact with him in four months. None at all. Especially since he's contacted his family members rather than contacting you. I would let the relationship go, it sounds to me that he has. I don't mean that to be cold in any way, but there is just no plausible reason for you to not have received an email, Skype call, or phone call in four months.
    I agree. Why even put up with this if this is how he is?
  4. we were all rooting for you
    KittenMittens's Avatar
    KittenMittens is offline
    we were all rooting for you
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    6,675
    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by missinghim View Post
    There is absolutely no reason for you to have no contact with him in four months. None at all. Especially since he's contacted his family members rather than contacting you. I would let the relationship go, it sounds to me that he has. I don't mean that to be cold in any way, but there is just no plausible reason for you to not have received an email, Skype call, or phone call in four months.
    This.

    He sounds like a real jerk and going so long without contacting you and just stringing you along like this is awful. Seems like he could have at least taken a few minutes to write an email saying he's done. You deserve better - move on and forget about him. I'm sorry.
  5. Senior Member
    Allybeth's Avatar
    Allybeth is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    730
    #5
    Agree with PP. There is just zero excuse. When my DF was deployed, I heard from him every single day, unless they left base and then I knew about it in advance. Maybe not always for hours on end, but I heard from him. There is no way I would wait around for someone to pop back into my life when it's convenient. We all go through things, that doesn't give us an excuse to ignore someone who loves us for FOUR MONTHS.

    At this point, I would cut off all contact with him. He is making no effort staying in this relationship and neither should you anymore.
  6. Fresh Newbie
    FloridaGirl2015's Avatar
    FloridaGirl2015 is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    14
    #6
    Thank you guys!... It just sucks because I really gave it my all. I was hoping to heard something back...and like you said, "even a short email or text to tell me he was done", I would have respected that... but literally, the last message I got from him was a positive one. I'm such an idiot for staying. (Inserts crying emoji)
  7. Senior Member
    villanelle's Avatar
    villanelle is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    14,790
    #7
    He is telling you very, very clearly how little he values and respects you. Listen to him.

    I'm sorry.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •