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Thread: First deployment😔

  1. Fresh Newbie
    Michelle0883's Avatar
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    #1

    First deployment😔

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    How does someone cope with seeing your spouse all day everyday to getting one call a day? I try to stay busy but it's not working. I'm will to get some suggestions please. Thank you all
  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #2
    Time and routine. In most cases, as you develop a new routine that keeps you busy and doesn't include daily time with your spouse you begin to get used to it. You have to continue living your life, finding new hobbies, doing things you love, etc. If you continue to dwell on the fact your SO is gone constantly it's going to be a very rough deployment. There are a lot of old DD threads that would he helpful for you to read through as well. Lots of advice is given from members with a lot of experience whom may not be active on here anymore. Stay strong
  3. Senior Member
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    #3
    For me, I just make sure I am--and continue to be--a while and complete person without DH. I am with him because I want to be and I love him, but not because I need to be. I've gone for weeks without hearing his voice. And I've spent that time doing things that make me a better human being. I've put in closet organizers, and learned to play a favorite piece of music on the piano, and taught myself to play chess, and read a bunch of books I've been putting off, and cleaned my house more thoroughly than I ever have, and so many other things. All those things moved my forward and made me better, and were about me, not about DH's wife or about us as a couple. I made sure I had a full, complete, happy life, and that made me a better person, and also a better partner for him when he got home.

    And yes, do read through old posts. Some form of this question gets asked probably several times a week, and people sometimes get tired of giving the same answers over and over, so you can read it in all those old threads.

    I hope this separation goes quickly for you and that it gets easier!
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  4. Fresh Newbie
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    #4
    Thank you very much. I will definitely do that.
  5. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #5
    If you get that feeling like "I wish DH was here to see this/talk about this" I would start keeping a little notebook and writing things down. It may make you feel better but also you'll have those moments saved up for when you do get your phone call! I remember being frustrated someone because I would feel like I had all these things to tell DH but once I got him on the phone it was like my mind just went blank! But having my little notebook was a big comfort to me as well.
  6. Fresh Newbie
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    #6
    Wow thank you! That sounds like a great idea👍 I did go blank when he called me 😂 I guess from the excitement of hearing from him.

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