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Thread: A little bit scared

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    #1

    A little bit scared

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    Hello!
    My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now. He just left for his first deployment and I am not taking it too well. I know that I am strong and will be able to make it through, it is just extremely tough. I am in college, so all of my friends all have their boyfriends with them all the time. Nothing against them, I would just love to have that. It is just especially hard because I don't really have anyone to talk to that understands. I am just feeling a little lonely and scared about the whole thing.
    I know we are only dating, so it doesn't seem as serious, but we have talked about marriage and stuff. I have one year left of college then we will actually act on it. I just was wondering a little bit of advice on getting through our first deployment together. We have already been long distance for 5 months, and we had no problems there. This is just a little different, so just seeking a little advice.
    Thank you!
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    Hi there!
    I too am in college and we are going through our first deployment together too. We married about 3 weeks before he had to deploy. I live and work in a military town but go to college a few cities over. It's HARD being surrounded by people that can't relate to your situation. That's what drove me to this site. Get through school and know that while you are feeling down, try to put yourself in his shoes. He's thousands of miles away from his familiar country, from his family and has to live with coworkers. Not diminishing your loneliness, but what helps me not to have a full on pity party is thinking about how my guy kinda has it worse than me. I try to plan out interesting things for me to do so when I write to him, I'm not all boring and miserable. I'm trying to view this as a means to grow and not wallow too much
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    Hey, I understand what you are going through. I'm currently going to back to school. I know this is a little off topic. I am just curious it getting married affected your fafsa? I was looking at it and getting married could affect me. I want to desperately marry the man I love and he wants to get married too. I just don't know how that would go for me in regards to school. Are there programs to help get through college for military spouses?
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    Be careful about thinking your friends can't be a great source of support just because they haven't walked in your shoes. If they don't understand, explain it to them. Until somewhat recently, none of my close friends had any military-affiliation, and yet they were always a great source of support for me, in the same way that I can support them through the challenges of motherhood, even though I don't have kids. Just because I've never birthed or raised a human doesn't mean I can't objectively look at what they are doing and see that it's hard and sympathize.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by FarleyR View Post
    Hey, I understand what you are going through. I'm currently going to back to school. I know this is a little off topic. I am just curious it getting married affected your fafsa? I was looking at it and getting married could affect me. I want to desperately marry the man I love and he wants to get married too. I just don't know how that would go for me in regards to school. Are there programs to help get through college for military spouses?
    You might be able to find some scholarships, but you'd need to search for those. The only official program of which I'm aware is called MyCAA. You can google it. It's only for spouses of service members of certain lower ranks, and I think it is limited to $4000 per year.

    You also need to keep in mind how moving will affect your ability to finish school, especially because most schools have application timelines well in advance of actually starting, and I believe not all offer in-state tuition to military spouses, so it could get very expensive and you could end up taking a year or so off by the time you get orders, apply, and wait to be accepted. You are almost certainly better off finishing school, then getting married. No one ever wants to hear that, but almost everyone says it for a reason.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    FarleyR

    I actually have not looked into that much, as I am almost done with school. I don't really use FAFSA, because I am on a scholarship to my school currently, sorry about not being much help!! But I definitely know what it's like being in school and doing the distance. It's nice, because it keeps you busy, so it is also so hard to focus and stay on track. Feel free to contact me if you ever need someone to talk to!!

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