Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24

Thread: I can barely handle 24hrs, let alone 9 months.

  1. Old Newbie
    sabrinachheunott's Avatar
    sabrinachheunott is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    15
    #1

    I can barely handle 24hrs, let alone 9 months.

    Advertisements
    Hi, this is my first time on here and i thought i'd give it a try.

    My husband deployed in September. He was barely told out of random around the end of August there was a possibility he was going, it was between him and three others. No offense to my husband, but the others seemed much more qualified than him. He explained to me that since he only was deployed once to Korea a couple years ago, that this is just a "normal process" because he's more likely to be sent out for his first combat mission.

    We anxiously waited to receive official orders. Also had plans to take 2 weeks of leave to visit family but we were unsure to go since at the time there was no orders still. Then literally 3 days prior to the scheduled 2 weeks, he had them. We got up and left.
    Barely had a week together, i feel like i took the time for granted.

    Now i'm with my family for the time being. This is our first deployment and i'm trying everything i can to convince myself he will be alright, i am definitely not afraid to cry or let myself be sad about it. It's hard for my parents to understand that yeah i know he's okay, he'll come home safely, but shit, this feeling i have just SUCKS.
    I am on the verge of breaking down all the time, just at any time too. It's quite annoying because i don't like crying in front of others or in public but this is very difficult to just hold in and cry later. I feel like the night before + the morning of the day he left i didn't really cry. So i think my emotions are finally taking over, trying to tell me to cry it all out already.

    I feel like a mess. I just constantly want to talk to him or just vent to those going through/have gone through this who is just willing to listen.

    - Thank you so much for reading.
    Last edited by sabrinachheunott; 10-26-2016 at 05:58 PM.
  2. Fresh Newbie
    Greatjoy's Avatar
    Greatjoy is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    5
    #2
    Hello, how are you doing? I hope you are having a better day. Although, you miss your husband. I have a few suggestions go to movies with girlfriends, volunteer, read new books, get out of the house and enjoy life. It's a time for family and friends to support you. Have a great day.
    Greatjoy
  3. Old Newbie
    sabrinachheunott's Avatar
    sabrinachheunott is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    15
    #3
    Hey, Greatjoy
    Thank you so much for responding.
    I actually had texted his aunt to hang out one morning since she lived nearby and I just ended up venting to her about everything on my chest. I do feel better, from just being out but at this point I do dread coming back home and staying home.
    I just continually want to go out, to have my own space.
    Since my parents are remodeling the living room, everything is in my bedroom at the moment so it's been hard to try to be comfortable alone. I know that'll pass soon, I just have to deal with it now.

    I'll figure it out at some point but for now what's eating at me is the constant communication I have with my husband is now "gone". I just want to sit all day texting him if I could. Obviously, we can't do that but I will find a way to deal with that also.

    I know I'll be fine. I know he'll be fine. It just really sucks. That's all.
  4. Senior Member
    Margot31's Avatar
    Margot31 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    896
    #4
    It does suck but you will figure out what works for you. Its only the first few days. Is your spouse doing an IA? When my sister did one she had a great ombudsman who would check in with my parents and see how things are going. Now I kind of come from a military background in the first place so when my sister went it was no big deal really to us. Plus we had decent communication with her due to her location. See if you have a Key spouse or an ombudsman (not sure what branch you are associated with) and they might also be a great place to vent due to them knowing the lifestyle.

    As mentioned in the other post why did you move back home? Just wondering?
  5. Old Newbie
    sabrinachheunott's Avatar
    sabrinachheunott is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    15
    #5
    - Margot31:
    I am not entirely sure if he's doing an IA, the details he could tell me were vague.
    His branch is ARMY, honestly never had thought of contacting an ombudsman (don't mean to sound ignorant/naive, but i never knew that is even a thing until you mentioned it) seems like a good idea, thank you so much.
    Fortunately i have been able to communicate with him at least every day, that has been a lot of help. I believe in the next couple days might be a bit of a challenge because he mentioned his connection won't be as great as it was in the beginning, so i'll be waiting to see if he can figure out a way till then.

    The reason i moved back home is because where my parents live is quite far from where were we stationed, so all of my family and friends are here, very close by. Also one of his family members as well, i have been visiting them often and letting them know how he's doing on his end.
    It ended up being better for the both us financially from me being at home, there was not much going on for us where we were. He also feels more reassured knowing where i am and who i'm with while he's gone.
    Right now i am just slowly easing to finding myself a routine, just having some time to myself at this moment.
  6. Fresh Newbie
    Jjgibb's Avatar
    Jjgibb is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    12
    #6
    Hey Girl! My now-husband (just got married yesterday, together 7 years) just left yesterday for Afghanistan so I know the feeling. We just bought a house then he finds out he's leaving. I'd love to chat!
  7. Old Newbie
    sabrinachheunott's Avatar
    sabrinachheunott is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    15
    #7
    - Jjgibb:
    Hi, how are you?
    I can only imagine that feeling of settling down with a house and getting everything together for him to leave last minute.
    You're more than welcome to contact me whenever.
  8. Breathe and chill
    *Bazinga*'s Avatar
    *Bazinga* is offline
    Breathe and chill
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH/Afghanistan
    Posts
    8,951
    Blog Entries
    1

    #8
    Give yourself time to get used to a new routine! It's ok to ugly cry and be mopey for a day or so...just don't live there! Keep busy and find things that make you happier! Try not to dwell in the land of "what if's???" It doesn't help and will make it longer for you. Attitude is a huge thing in dealing with deployments. There are going to be moments and that's ok! Have them and then pick yourself up and keep going. Deployments will end. They are temporary. (That's my mantra )
    Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like a boss.

  9. Old Newbie
    oliveswilde's Avatar
    oliveswilde is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    D.C.
    Posts
    27
    #9
    I just want to send you (((HUGS))) it can be hard, esp living with family. When my husband deployed his first time (we were only bf/gf) it was really hard for me and I cried ALL the time. But I had to get up and go out to get myself over the fact of worrying about him so much. Like Bazinga has said, it's okay to ugly cry, but don't live there. I do feel it's very important to get your emotions out so they don't control your well being.
  10. Old Newbie
    sabrinachheunott's Avatar
    sabrinachheunott is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    15
    #10
    - *Bazinga*
    I have been keeping myself busy in the mornings with work, so time feels like it's been flying by.
    Being able to contact him daily is definitely helping me be sane. We keep each other updated on our daily lives so things seem to be pretty alright.
    I always remind myself that this is temporary, not forever
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •