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Thread: Coping with deployment..

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    SCoston's Avatar
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    #1

    Coping with deployment..

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    My husband left 2 days ago. They left port yesterday so I had my last phone call from him right before they left. This deployment is a first for us both. People are kinda making me feel ridiculous because of how much I already miss him. I mean most of the time we've been together has been spent apart' because of work-ups and getting ready for deployment. But atleast then I knew when I was going to see him again. All i want to do is cry every time I think of him. Does it get easier after some time has passed or does it get harder?
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    #2
    It does get better but you have to put the work in too. There will always be people who "SUCK IT UP" There will be people who will say ok time to move on and always someone who says they can't do this they miss their loved one. And all those feelings are OK.

    You need to find what works for you. Give yourself some time to figure out this new adventure. Its ok to leave dirty dishes in the sink for a day or two...i don't recommend a week. Its ok to come home and put those pjs on and watch girly movies for a week or two and not want to leave. But after a while you have to put the big girl panties on and say I am going to ROCK this deployment. Make sure you stay busy. Its ok to have fun and laugh and enjoy life. Plan some day trips with friends, go see family if its doable. Get involved with the spouses group that your spouse command has.
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    #3
    Deployments are tough, especially your first one. Give yourself a few days to feel those emotions... cry etc. Then you will need to start the hard work! The key is to stay extremely busy to make time go by faster. Set some goals whether is be personal, financial or household projects. Take some classes, join a gym ... you get the idea. Use this time to focus on yourself - treat yourself every now and again.

    You will have good days and bad days for the first few weeks, but trust me, you will get into a new routine and it will hurt less ( if that makes sense?). We all miss our spouses/ partners while they are deployed and we get it, it's that kind of missing someone that it hurts. You will find out just how strong you are during a deployment ... you can do this! Get up, get dressed and tell yourself how strong you are!! you got this!!!!
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    #4
    Welcome aboard! Everything PP have said is correct. Set some goals for yourself during this time period and make it productively personally. My DH just returned home and this was not our first. It does get easier as you develop your own systems for dealing with things day to day. Seek out local support from others in the same boat. That can really help.

    As others have said, you will have good days and you will have bad days. Accept that and move on. Don't get stuck in the "poor pitiful me" rut or it will be a long long journey.
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    #5
    I'm about 35% through our first deployment with a loooong time left to go, BUT I will say that it's getting easier. The first few months were really, really rough. Now, my little family and I are getting into a routine and it feels like a new normal. I just try not to think of how far we have left to go, and try to make the best of each day. Figure out a routine that makes you feel good and stick to it. Take care of yourself and you'll be far less depressed!

    Hang in there and let me know if you need a buddy
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    #6
    Thank you everyone. I had health issues when i was younger and never finished high school. So I've enrolled in an online high school program so that I'll have that to keep me busy at night after work and the kids go to bed. The most difficult thing is I don't really have any friends where I live. And the couple I have are younger and only like to party, and I'm not into that scene.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by SCoston View Post
    Thank you everyone. I had health issues when i was younger and never finished high school. So I've enrolled in an online high school program so that I'll have that to keep me busy at night after work and the kids go to bed. The most difficult thing is I don't really have any friends where I live. And the couple I have are younger and only like to party, and I'm not into that scene.
    Congrats on going back to school. That is an excellent way to make yourself productive and busy. As far as friends go, you didn't mention what branch your husband is in, but reach out on base and I'm sure you will find support groups and programs. Air Force has a program call Key Spouse where you meet other people in similar situations and can make friends. Good luck! You can do this!

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