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Thread: First time deployment

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    Shelbymarie's Avatar
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    #1

    First time deployment

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    Hey everyone, i just signed up for this site after a few months of struggling through this deployment on my own. A little about me, im 24 and My SO has been gone for 3 months now and has 4.5 left. I knew i signed up for this when i met him, but it has become way harder than i ever imagined. About 6 months before the deployment, we uprooted our lives for my job and moved to a different part of the country. It has been a real struggle being in a new state, new job & not having my SO or my close friends to talk to. I spend most my weekends at home or at the gym, but always alone. He has always been bad with communication & showing his emotions and i feel that this is taking a toll on our relationship, especially now with the deployment.

    I cant seem to get out of this pity party im in and would love suggestions on how to get through. Thanks
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    #2
    My fiance is not great at expressing himself over the phone. He is great via text or in person but I had to tell him exactly what I need from him to feel loved and so far it has worked out great. Maybe join the app MeetUp or find a class that is interesting to you to pass the time. If you ever need to talk to someone feel free to message me!
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    #3
    Welcome and there is a lot of support here!! Hang in there! It's hard for both of you right now. You have the opportunity to meet new people and explore while he is away. Meetup can be a great site!
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    #4
    A pity party is fine, I believe most of us have been there a time or two, it's absolutely normal!

    I'm sure it's difficult to be in a new state basically on your own, but it sounds like you are using this time well to focus on you! I know I can be in room full of people, even people I know and still feel alone - it's a part of deployment.... you feel that missing heart!

    I think you'll find this site full of great information and support. Don't be afraid to reach out - I'm sure there are a few of us that can join in your pity party too so we won't be alone!
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    Welcome aboard!

    I think you will find a lot of support here and just knowing others have endured this can be a real relief just in itself. First off, try and get rid of the mindset that you are just hanging on. This should be, and will make things easier, a very productive time for you. I tell everyone I talk to that the first time through this is the toughest but you have to set some very clear goals for yourself and work hard to achieve them. Pick up a new hobby you always wanted to try, take a new class, get some additional certification for work, start a new workout, start a new diet or join a new group. Stay busy!

    Whatever you do don't just sit around and stay home. I don't know what branch your SO is in, but there spouse groups you can join. In the AF it is called Key Spouse. Find out how to get involved with these groups. Lots of friends to be had there who understand your situation.

    You can do this! If you ever need to reach out just look me up. And yep .... I will join your pity party!

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