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Thread: Struggling with Deployment

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    #1

    Struggling with Deployment

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    Hi, my name is Julie and I just registered today as a way of finding peace about the situation I am in. I am a Canadian in love with a US soldier. He is deployed right now and won’t be back to the US until July. We are not far apart geographically as he is based in Washington state and I am in British Columbia. Sometimes, he doesn’t keep his word about keeping in touch when he says he will and it hurts to wait for him sometimes two to three days from the day he said he would contact me. Sometimes when this happens, I want to bolt and think it is better for me not to have contact with him anymore and try to move on. This happened this weekend once again and I vented my hurt and frustration to him and felt maybe it was better for me to move on as I am having problem handling it as it has happened a few times and I would rather that he not say he is going to contact me tomorrow and then not do it but rather say he will contact me when he can. He has told me not to get upset when this happens as something must have happened for him not to get in touch. I know what he says is true but it is hard for me to cope as I am a Canadian civilian and never dated a US military man before and am learning that it is a lonely life at times and takes a lot of patience and love to keep pressing on. It is hard not to feel hurt and upset about it though. I want to do that as I love him so that is why I have joined this website so if anyone has any words of encouragement or advice, I sure would appreciate it.

    Thank you.

    Julie
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    #2
    Hi Julie. I've been dating a Navy sailor for two years. Trust me it's not an easy role. It takes a lot of understanding and hard work. U.S. military men work very hard. They have limited contact especially if they are deployed (like my sailor) or working. It's not that he's trying to ignore you it's the nature of his work. I had a hard time with that as well. I would text and wouldn't get a response for hours, sometimes not until two or three days later. If he's on the boat forget it the signal is horrible!!! My advice would be to just take your time, it's obvious that you care for this man and if its meant to be everything will fall into place. You will learn to find ways to communicate and although the distance is tough when you see each other it makes it that much more special. I understand that you live in Canada so I'm not sure if you would be able to possibly join an FRG group which is a Family Readiness group. These groups are amazing. They provide support, they have events and they allow you to interact with other US military wives, girlfriends and families so you're not alone I use to feel isolated as well so I understand how you feel. You'll be fine. Communication is super important in these types of relationships. This website is also a great place too. You will be ok Julie!
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    #3
    You need to communicate those feelings with him. So many problems can be fixed just by talking it out
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    #4

    Jump for Joy Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and advice . . .

    I appreciate you taking the time to tell me about your situation and how to best handle it. Yes, I do care a great deal for him or I would not be taking this on but the heart wants what it wants and for me that is him so I will keep pressing on.

    Thanks,

    Julie
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    #5

    Smile Thank you . . .

    Yes, we have had several talks about this. He is a man of few words and I am a woman of many words but between the two of us, we are working it out.

    Thanks for replying to my post.

    Julie

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