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Thread: Communication

  1. Old Newbie
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    #1

    Communication

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    Good morning! I am new to this site and deployment. This is my first time away from my BF and so far so good. However, I am unsure how often to communicate to him (whether mail/email/messages). He is in the Navy and I know when they are underway, they have no communication available to them until they are back in port. Is it a good idea to keep them involved in the day to day life that we had before deployment? I don't get in to lengthy emails/messages every day. I only do that a couple of times a week with the other days just sending off messages that I am thinking about him, etc. All messages are always upbeat and positive. I know he has a job to do and don't expect responses. At the same time, I don't want to overwhelm him when he will have internet access. I do know it is important for them to feel like they are a part of life back home and that they aren't forgotten. Is this making sense?
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    #2
    Does he go out on submarines? Otherwise, it's not true at all that they have no communication while underway. If he's on a ship, he will have email most days, though it can occasionally go down for a couple days here and there, especially on the smaller ships. They also get mail, though it can take 3-4 weeks, or more, to get to them. Where did you hear that they have no communication while at sea?

    As for how often to email him and what to tell him, that's a question for him. Talk with him about what he wants and what feels comfortable for you, and come to a decision for your relationship. I email DH pretty much every day while he's underway and I do include him in the small day to day parts of my life. He doesn't respond every day, but he never goes more than 3-4 days without at least a very quickly email to me, unless comms are down or he's utterly exhausted and truly doesn't have 5 minutes to spare.
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  3. Vex
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    #3
    I dated a submariner for three years. They most definitely do get communication while underway. My boyfriend (at that time) was able to email me a few times a week while underway on a sub.
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Vex View Post
    I dated a submariner for three years. They most definitely do get communication while underway. My boyfriend (at that time) was able to email me a few times a week while underway on a sub.
    They do get *some* communication lol. Mine goes dark for at least a month at a time usually, meaning there is 0 comms.
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    #5
    Don't feel bad about communicating with him. If you want to tell him something, then e-mail him, send him a letter, however it is that you are able to communicate with him. My husband is in basic right now and I write to him everyday. I know he probably won't get to read my letters everyday, but at some point he will. They look forward to letters, e-mail, care packages, whatever. It puts a smile on their face and they like to be kept up to date on things so they feel as if they aren't missing out too much. He may feel overwhelmed when he is able to read your messages, but at least he will know that you care, love, and miss him. So it's totally worth it
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by dparsons View Post
    Good morning! I am new to this site and deployment. This is my first time away from my BF and so far so good. However, I am unsure how often to communicate to him (whether mail/email/messages). He is in the Navy and I know when they are underway, they have no communication available to them until they are back in port. Is it a good idea to keep them involved in the day to day life that we had before deployment? I don't get in to lengthy emails/messages every day. I only do that a couple of times a week with the other days just sending off messages that I am thinking about him, etc. All messages are always upbeat and positive. I know he has a job to do and don't expect responses. At the same time, I don't want to overwhelm him when he will have internet access. I do know it is important for them to feel like they are a part of life back home and that they aren't forgotten. Is this making sense?
    Like Villanelle said, surface ships usually have more regular communications. Submarines have less, and can be 0 for periods of time. Even when comms are down, I send DB an email every day, and then when comms come back, he gets like an overflow of emails from me, which he loves. He doesn't always have tons of time to respond to every little thing I write, but he still really enjoys hearing about life above water. And, he encourages me to share with him all of my feelings, good and bad. He doesn't ever want me to hide those from him, and he try's to support me just as much as I try to support him.

    But, you both need to figure out what your norm is, because it is certainly different for everyone.
  7. Old Newbie
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    #7
    Thank you all for the information. Before they went underway, he told me and his family that he would be unable to communicate for a while which was the norm from his previous deployments. I have stayed in close touch with his parents, etc. We lean on each other and cry with each other when we need to. It is a great support system to have until we can hear his voice! Keep the advice coming! It helps.
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    #8
    CourtLove, is he on a sub?
  9. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by dparsons View Post
    CourtLove, is he on a sub?
    Yes, he is. Is yours as well?
  10. Old Newbie
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by CourtLove View Post
    Yes, he is. Is yours as well?
    No, he is on a ship. He is part of a LCS Surface Warfare Detachment. I have to admit it scared me a bit when everyone said that they do have comm. Neither me nor his family has heard anything from him since he went underway last week. Up to that point, I heard from him every day. He did tell us it would be a while before he could communicate with us again so I'm leaving it at that.
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