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Thread: Trying to Be Strong

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    Trying to Be Strong

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    I'm dating an Airman and he just got deployed a couple months ago. The communication has been pretty frequent up until this past week. I haven't heard from him in several days...going on a week. I know that doesn't seem like that big of a deal to most people but I know he has access to the internet and can email. I've sent him a couple emails and there has been no response. I'm trying to just think that he's busy and it's work and I don't have anything to worry about, but I can't help but think it's my fault or that maybe he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. I know that sounds crazy, but I automatically go to worse case scenario. Is it normal to go from really frequent communication to hardly any? This is my first time going through a deployment so I don't know what to expect or how I should be feeling. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if this is normal?

    Thanks for any advice you can give me! I don't have any friends that have gone through this so I really appreciate the help.
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    "She knew she loved him when 'home' went from being a place to being a person."
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    #3
    I am currently going through my first deployment with my soldier. His email responses range from a day, two days, 3 days, 5 days or even a week. He travels in and out of his base to other areas where he has no access to the internet. It could just be that your airman is traveling or unable to gain access. When our communication gets to be a bit longer than the normal response time I go into "no news is good news" mode. At first I would start to get very worried when there was no communication with my DB right away but I have now hit coasting mode in the deployment and realize that I have to go with the flow. I wish I had better advice. All I can say is keep yourself busy and stay positive. I write in a deployment journal to help release any negative feelings that arise.
  4. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by DoubleA View Post
    I'm dating an Airman and he just got deployed a couple months ago. The communication has been pretty frequent up until this past week. I haven't heard from him in several days...going on a week. I know that doesn't seem like that big of a deal to most people but I know he has access to the internet and can email. I've sent him a couple emails and there has been no response. I'm trying to just think that he's busy and it's work and I don't have anything to worry about, but I can't help but think it's my fault or that maybe he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. I know that sounds crazy, but I automatically go to worse case scenario. Is it normal to go from really frequent communication to hardly any? This is my first time going through a deployment so I don't know what to expect or how I should be feeling. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if this is normal?

    Thanks for any advice you can give me! I don't have any friends that have gone through this so I really appreciate the help.
    Do you mean you know he currently has access to email and just isn't contacting you? Sometimes when they're deployed, communications will go down for various reasons and they wont' be able to access communications until the blackout is lifted. I know sometimes I wouldn't hear from DH for a week or so for this reason, it's stressful and awful but if that's the case there isn't' really anything they can do about it. So in that sense I don't think it's necessarily abnormal for communication to be sporadic during deployments.

    As for worst case scenarios, if you always jump to the worst conclusions about him it's going to be really stressful for both of ya'll. One thing that really helped us when DH was gone was to never assume the worst about each other. It's not fair for you to put yourself through that, and it's not fair to him either if you're not going to believe in him that he's doing the right thing.

    Now if you mean he's contacting other people and deliberately ignoring you, I think that's a totally different story ...
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    I think communication can sometimes vary depending of where they are deployed. I know my DH was very good about communication but sometimes they would have trouble with their internet and communication became spotty during some of his deployment.

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