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Thread: This sucks.

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    #1

    This sucks.

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    Hello. Wondering if anyone has had similar experience to mine and what they did about it.
    Boyfriend is navy, been gone a few months now, will be back soon-ish. We were dating for about a month before he left, knew each other a bit longer, part of the same friend group. Our time together, while short, was amazing. He talked about marriage and babies and blah blah. This kept on for about a month into his deployment, then everything started to change once they switched his schedule to night shift. The calls stopped coming in, haven't talked to him on the phone in two months. The facebook messages got shorter and less sweet as well. Went from "Goodmorning honey, love you, miss you" to "hey, hope you're having a good day" to "hey i'm busy can't talk", and won't hear from him for days. Now that's all he says, is that he's too busy and can't talk. When he was in port last, he never called because he said he had to work so much. I just don't understand why he can't take five minutes out of his workout/sleeping/eating schedule to call me. So I've been grateful at least for the occasional facebook messaging, but lately he doesn't say "i love you" or "i miss you" anymore. I bring it up to him and he just says he's sorry and that he's stressed from working so much. A couple days ago I tried to pry a bit more and he says that his feelings have faded from what they were before but not because of me but because of the environment and stress he's in. I'm honestly not upset if he can't talk to me every day, it's just that this was a new relationship before he left and what I was afraid would happen feels like it is. It feels like he's forgetting about me and won't want to be with me when he gets back. I send him care packages and send pictures on facebook, but lately it doesn't seem to do much. He will be back soon though like I said but right now I don't even know if he's going to want to see me and it makes me really sad. I hate how he's become so disconnected, but he says he has to in order to get through this.
    Anyone else gone through something like this? How did you get through it without ruining your relationship?
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    #2

    Advice, please

    Sorry for the double post, I wasn't sure which thread this should go in.

    Hello. Wondering if anyone has had similar experience to mine and what they did about it.
    Boyfriend is navy, been gone a few months now, will be back soon-ish. We were dating for about a month before he left, knew each other a bit longer, part of the same friend group. Our time together, while short, was amazing. He talked about marriage and babies and blah blah. This kept on for about a month into his deployment, then everything started to change once they switched his schedule to night shift. The calls stopped coming in, haven't talked to him on the phone in two months. The facebook messages got shorter and less sweet as well. Went from "Goodmorning honey, love you, miss you" to "hey, hope you're having a good day" to "hey i'm busy can't talk", and won't hear from him for days. Now that's all he says, is that he's too busy and can't talk. When he was in port last, he never called because he said he had to work so much. I just don't understand why he can't take five minutes out of his workout/sleeping/eating schedule to call me. So I've been grateful at least for the occasional facebook messaging, but lately he doesn't say "i love you" or "i miss you" anymore. I bring it up to him and he just says he's sorry and that he's stressed from working so much. A couple days ago I tried to pry a bit more and he says that his feelings have faded from what they were before but not because of me but because of the environment and stress he's in. I'm honestly not upset if he can't talk to me every day, it's just that this was a new relationship before he left and what I was afraid would happen feels like it is. It feels like he's forgetting about me and won't want to be with me when he gets back. I send him care packages and send pictures on facebook, but lately it doesn't seem to do much. He will be back soon though like I said but right now I don't even know if he's going to want to see me and it makes me really sad. I hate how he's become so disconnected, but he says he has to in order to get through this.
    Anyone else gone through something like this? How did you get through it without ruining your relationship?
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    #3
    My army girlfriend has been away for training & whenever she could talk to me she would. Any chance she got. & I feel like your boyfriend could do the same. You need to just flat out ask him about the relationship because if he does plan on breaking up with you (hopefully not) he needs to just go ahead & do it. No need to string you along & have you waiting. I think it's a combination of distance, job stress but at the same time he needs to learn how to balance all that plus his relationship. He's made a commitment to you & he needs to figure out how to incorporate hat into his everyday life. Best of luck to you & yours! 💗
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    #4
    Thank you for the advice
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    #5
    Hi OP, I merged your threads as posting duplicates is not allowed. Fortunately most people use the "new posts" feature, so either location works just fine! People will see it.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by tyesha_lashae View Post
    My army girlfriend has been away for training & whenever she could talk to me she would. Any chance she got. & I feel like your boyfriend could do the same. You need to just flat out ask him about the relationship because if he does plan on breaking up with you (hopefully not) he needs to just go ahead & do it. No need to string you along & have you waiting. I think it's a combination of distance, job stress but at the same time he needs to learn how to balance all that plus his relationship. He's made a commitment to you & he needs to figure out how to incorporate hat into his everyday life. Best of luck to you & yours! ��


    I hope everything works out!
    "She knew she loved him when 'home' went from being a place to being a person."
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    #7
    I guess it just depends on his job. I didn't get to talk to DF for almost two months when he wasn't allowed to contact anyone on deployment. If you think he's worth it, wait for him. If you don't think he's worth it and/or need much more attention than someone in the military can give to you, then you might want to think about moving on. I had to learn this too somewhere along the lines of being in a military relationship. He just can't give you that much attention, nowhere near as much as a man working a normal 9-5. I hope it works out for you. Good Luck!

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