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Thread: Need Deployment Advice

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    #1

    Need Deployment Advice

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    Hello! This is my first forum post ever..... so my wife recently deployed and she will be gone for roughly 7 months. This is our first one, I am prior service but never deployed and she is a reservist so it is a little hard for me to adjust. Being away from home before never bothered near this bad. Its been a decent amount of time already that shes been gone and most of the time I'm still in almost a depression. I'm sure the crummy winter weather doesn't help either but I guess I need some advice on how to get out of this bad mood all the time. I literally don't look forward to anything. I have a great job but I don't look forward to going to work or coming home. I hate getting into an empty bed. I feel like it shouldn't be this hard. Just hoping to get some advice or help from people who have more experience with this than me haha. Thanks!
  2. we were all rooting for you
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    #2
    and Welcome to the forum.

    I suggest you take a look around the "during deployment" section of the board. You'll find you're not alone and that there is some really great coping advice on there. We also have "During Deployment (DD) check in" thread twice a week. The ladies on there are so supportive, they'd welcome you with open arms.

    As for your first deployment, it will get easier. The time will start to pass and you'll find that the days get better. Find things to keep yourself busy - do you things besides work? Have kids? Go to school? Find a hobby or enjoy the ones you have now. Try something new. Travel. I like to do something for myself once a month to kind of "celebrate" being another month closer to the end, sometimes it was getting a pedicure, other times I allowed myself to have a nice dinner, etc.

    You'll get through
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    #3
    I really appreciate the response! I wanna point out I am lucky that her deployment is shorter than most of what you guys endure and we talk daily through viber. So far it has been a roller coaster! I'll go from being in a great mood to at the bottom of the barrel lol. I like your idea of monthly celebrations, it lets you establish short term goals without looking at the end. No kids and I need to go to school. All of that is stuff on the menu upon her return. I guess I just needed to vent to someone who understands. I am also trying to get back into better shape for her so that gives me something to do. Thanks for the kind message, I'll check out the other stuff out!
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    #4
    and !

    Definitely agree with the stuff KittenMittens said. Keeping yourself busy and distracted, setting small goals, that is your best bet. I'm currently active duty Army, but have never deployed, despite my wishes to. My boyfriend is about to deploy for the first time, so it is a huge change being on this side of it. Kind of a shock, because my veiw on deployment has always been about how much I want the chance to go, but now that he is leaving, it really sucks. So I definitely get that. I'm also right here with you on the going through it part (although I am just about to start), so if you want to ever chat please feel free to message me! And of course, lots of
  5. Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear.
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    #5
    Keeping busy is just the way to go. Movies, books, friends. Sometimes I don't feel like hanging out with friends or going out but it usually ends up helping me out in the end and time passes ab it more quickly with friends.
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    #6


    I just wanted to echo the invitation to the bi-weekly checkins! We are on our 3rd deployment right now, and you have to learn to embrace the suck. Because boy do they SUCK. but they end!!!
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    #7
    I really do appreciate the understanding and advice. I knew it would suck but it has hit me way harder than expected. Sometimes you just need to vent and have an outlet for it all. It hard being helpless and not being able to do anything for her. Its kinda a catch 22, being so in love means we will get through it no problem but it also means I miss her more. Oh well. Embrace the suck! haha. Take care all and praying for you guys and your significant others!
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    #8
    Deployments suck, no matter the length, so off the bat, please don't think you don't have a right to fell what you feel because other have to deal with longer or more frequent or multiple deployments. It sucks when they're gone, period.

    The mini-goals thing while they're gone is HUGE. Just pick something - we chose XX amount of money during the year when my husband was in Afghanistan so he could pay cash for a new car when he got home. He also had a mid tour R&R, since he was gone a year, and saving money for a vacation was a huge part of the first six months. It helped me to set mini goals of how much money to sock away.

    And welcome to MSOS! Make sure you post a newbie thread here: Newbies to introduce yourself and make sure you read this thread: Everything A Newbie Needs To Know!!!!

    We look forward to you posting more!
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    #9
    So a little update. I actually did really well throughout February which obviously was a good thing. I started to remodel a bathroom with her specs as best I could. It feels good to do something for her. The last few days are suddenly really rough. Our normal facetime day didn't work due to crappy connection on her end so I'm sure that doesn't help. There is a possibility of a location change in the future as well. Not that it matters much on this end but for some reason it stresses me out. I like to think this is moving along but reality is we still have some time to go. So far my take on deployment is that its full of mood swings lol. Hopefully everyone else out there is doing well!

    EDIT: After I posted this I finally found the deployment check in threads! Sorry!
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    #10
    You should definitely check out the DD threads, they help so much for everyone, myself included.

    Glad you made it through Feb well! Remodel huh? Just some small stuff or like en entire re-do? Sorry to hear the past few days have been rough. It always sucks when there is a lull in communication. My DB almost had a change of location this week, so there' that possibility kinda hanging in the back of my head. It does suck on our end as well! It's kind of like starting over from the beginning. Waiting to know they made it there safe, not knowing what their schedule will be like or if things will be okay for them or if the communication will get worse (or better), etc. It is a huge deal so don't downplay it. I hope that if she does move, it's the same or better for her there!
    Deployment #1: Over!

    DB: feck fuck fack Me: What? DB: I can't believe I love you so damn much


    Extended separation #2: Over!

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