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Thread: deployment anxieties

  1. Fresh Newbie
    NavyGF02's Avatar
    NavyGF02 is offline
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    Sep 2014

    deployment anxieties

    hi everyone! i just joined and this is my first post. My boyfriend and i have been together for 6 months, but we were on and off in high school about 2 years ago; I've known him a long time and we have been close for many years. We are really serious, we talk about marriage and kids all the time, and we already plan on moving in together when he gets put stateside. He is my best friend and he says the same about me. this is our first deployment as a couple and it has been completely fine up until about a week ago... he's become distant. when i asked him about it, he said it wasn't me and that he tends to become distant when times get tough (dealing w/ deployment and his dads cancer coming back). i try to be as helpful and supportive as i can, and he says he feels loved and supported but sometimes i think i am too persistent; i sometimes send more than one message and just say "i love you" a lot, even if he doesn't say it back. He says he doesn't get annoyed by me sending sappy messages all the time, I'm hoping that he understands where i come from. its just because he hasn't been as affectionate lately and i miss it. We haven't had a real conversation in about a week and everyday he gets on Facebook once but only for about a minute. 2 days ago he apologized for not responding to me lately and that he's been busy. i don't blame him for not talking to me, i really do understand...its just hard because sometimes i feel like he doesn't miss me or that he doesn't love me anymore because he doesn't say it or show it nearly as much as he used to. should i feel bad for starting to act a little clingy? is my reaction normal? any advice/words of wisdom?
  2. Senior Member
    idratherbehiking's Avatar
    idratherbehiking is offline
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    Jul 2014

    Sorry he's been distant but you have to remind yourself it's just because he's going through some really tough times. It doesn't sound to me like you're being clingy at all. Clingy is when you say things like Why aren't you talking to me? Are we fighting? Do you not love me? It seems like you've been really positive. Since he's dealing with though issues like his dad's cancer you 're just going to have to be patient and just be there for him when he is ready to talk. I hope things get better for him and you

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