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Thread: first deployment emotional advice

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    krissykriss's Avatar
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    #1

    Duh first deployment emotional advice

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    **disclaimer** i went back to reread this because after i started typing it was like diarrhea of the mind so i apologize for the length and this could probably fall under the rant section or general advice but i need deployment support i guess

    quick question, what do you all find helps you on the days where it all just hits you and you find yourself sad and maybe a little angry about it all?
    I want to do my best and be as supportive as I possibly can but I find today is a day of questions

    Why did he have to go
    why does it feel like i'm the only one missing US
    was our relationship to new to be put to this test
    is there going to be a relationship when he gets back


    he's asked me to wait for him this deployment (my first ever) and i'm good with that but its like OK were going to stay together but the whole time hes gone hes not the type to say i miss you and i feel like our emails could be between us and anyone he set me up with the expectation that while hes gone the email could go down for months and he thinks its dumb how wives get mad when its not their fault (it hasn't happened yet thankfully a week is the longest) so i send emails everyday nothing long and drawn out just things from the day that i want to share with him because i miss him and what do i get back? generic reply's. I miss him i have no intention of breaking it off with him but how do you keep being supportive and being there when your not even sure its wanted? He's always been the very honest upfront type so i feel like if he wanted us to be over he would just come out and say it but at the risk of sounding childish(i'm 29 hes 31) it doesn't seem fair to ask me to wait when at this point i'm not entirely sure what i'm waiting for.
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    TheSisterWife's Avatar
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by krissykriss View Post
    **disclaimer** i went back to reread this because after i started typing it was like diarrhea of the mind so i apologize for the length and this could probably fall under the rant section or general advice but i need deployment support i guess

    quick question, what do you all find helps you on the days where it all just hits you and you find yourself sad and maybe a little angry about it all?
    I want to do my best and be as supportive as I possibly can but I find today is a day of questions

    Why did he have to go
    why does it feel like i'm the only one missing US
    was our relationship to new to be put to this test
    is there going to be a relationship when he gets back


    he's asked me to wait for him this deployment (my first ever) and i'm good with that but its like OK were going to stay together but the whole time hes gone hes not the type to say i miss you and i feel like our emails could be between us and anyone he set me up with the expectation that while hes gone the email could go down for months and he thinks its dumb how wives get mad when its not their fault (it hasn't happened yet thankfully a week is the longest) so i send emails everyday nothing long and drawn out just things from the day that i want to share with him because i miss him and what do i get back? generic reply's. I miss him i have no intention of breaking it off with him but how do you keep being supportive and being there when your not even sure its wanted? He's always been the very honest upfront type so i feel like if he wanted us to be over he would just come out and say it but at the risk of sounding childish(i'm 29 hes 31) it doesn't seem fair to ask me to wait when at this point i'm not entirely sure what i'm waiting for.
    I would email less often. His responses may be generic because his days are "generic." You're home, you may have different things going on each day- he's deployed... many of his days are the same. Also, try to keep in mind that not everyone is all that good at expressing themselves in writing, even if they're very open in person. How long have you been together? Have you asked him what you're waiting for/where he sees you two going when he gets home?
  3. Fresh Newbie
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    #3
    we've only been together 6 almost 7 months i don't want to rush him i'm not entirely sure how to ask where we are going or where he wants us to go before he left i got that we were heading in the right/a good direction. i don't know i took a nap maybe i was just being cranky i knew what i signed up for and i told him i'd be right here waiting when he got back and i deeply care for him so ill wait it out and be patient.
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    #4
    Hi Krissy I feel like we are in similar situations...how is everything going now?

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