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Thread: First Deployment Spouse (very first night! EEK!!)

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Help First Deployment Spouse (very first night! EEK!!)

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    My husband and I have been together for 6 years (married 3) with no kids and he left today for 7 months and I'm heartbroken I have had 6 glorious years with no deployment and count my blessings everyday how lucky I am. Since I met my husband I knew this day was coming and told myself, "Piece of cake. I can totally do this!". But here I am, first night, and not doing too well. I have no family here (closet people are 8 hours driving) and no friends, even after our many attempts to get out there and find some. I guess what I need is fellow wives letting me know how they got through it and what they did to help themselves. So far, I have a plan on how I will get through the months, but the next couple of days seem like they might rip me apart. Any advice would be welcome and very much appreciated!!
  2. The name says it all!
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    #2
    First of all, I'd like to welcome you to the forum! This is a great place for support. Those first few nights are always the hardest for me, so I would think they'd be hard for you as well. Keep busy is the number 1 suggestion, but I think you probably already do that. Take up a hobby you've always wanted to try. Planning out care packages is what I did. Then again, at the time we had a one year old to keep me busy, so. I hope you can find the support you need here, hon.

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




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    #3
    Pits pretty common for the first couple days to be pretty miserable. It will get easier but give yourself time to grieve and adjust.

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    #4
    WOW 6 years!!! Im jealous!! But in regards to your first time, it does suck, sucks for everyone, and it doesn't get easier. Try to stay busy as much as you can. Im the kind of person who dwells on crap so its bad. But if you psych yourself out it goes by a tiny bit easier. Do things that you have been wanting to do, the shitty thing is you have to adjust to doing everything alone. Most of my friends end up going home for deployments. But since your away from home just do your best in getting out there and not staying couped up in the house. Best of luck
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    #5
    DH and I are almost a month into our first deployment too! So I can feel you. The first couple of nights were the hardest for me so far. I was terrified someone was going to break in And lawdy did I miss DH. I still do, but it seems easier to deal with now. I stay at home a lot, but I also did that before he deployed, so its not like I just became a calm all of a sudden. I find a lot of things to do around the house. I have started doing projects that Ive wanted to do for awhile, but never got around to. I am in Germany so I also understand about being away from home. Maybe you could try to make a trip to see your family sometime while he is away?

    You can get through this girl!
  6. Senior Member
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    #6
    The first deployment during the first few days is the worst. I didn't have family to lean on either, we live in Germany! But I'm lucky I was able to make friends. Just find something you love or want to do and do it. I started working out during deployment. I have a pintrest board of recipes he doesn't like, and I tried to make my way through those. I ate at my favorite restaurant a lot that he doesn't like.... Those things kept me busy. It will get easier. Good luck!


  7. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
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    #7
    Our last duty station before this one was Camp LeJeune. One of the places that I got involved with on base was L.I.N.K.S. on MCAS New River. Even tho we were technically part of LeJeune, because Camp Geiger is there, the NR L.I.N.K.S. was busier giving classes to the families graduating MCT/ITB. It's such a great group of women. You start out taking the training, and then they will ask you at the end if you would like to volunteer. Either way, I got to meet a lot of really nice girls. Same deal with the FRA (family readiness assistant) training.

    I hope you find the support you need here and IRL.

    www.SnarkyFit.com

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