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Thread: STILL CANT FIND WORK - FEELING SAD AND SO ALONE

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    Sad STILL CANT FIND WORK - FEELING SAD AND SO ALONE

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    I would like to preface this by saying that I've been doing pretty darn well this deployment. Its our first deployment and although there have been really hard days we have gotten through them with flying colors! As well all know there are bad days and great days and there will be more of each and as a whole I have been keeping my head up but today has proven to be one of the toughest.

    So I just moved to the area 6 months ago. I am a restaurant manager by trade but couldn't find anything right away so I took a serving position about a month after I got here at a fine dining restaurant while I looked for something else. I then took a position 2 months later as a General Manager at another privately owned casual fine dining restaurant to be let go 2 months later by the owner without warning and for no good reason. Its been a month and I have been applying everywhere and I cant find anything. Ive also been applying for administrative work, serving positions, help desks, customer service... nothing so far. I have been struggling with looking for work and I have also been struggling with the mental rollercoaster this has put me through.

    Now I know everything it is I need to do to keep myself busy in the meantime. I go to the gym, I make plans with the one close friend I have here. (I haven't made many friends that I cant make plans with) I put a lot of my energy into looking for work. I take my dog out for walks. I would do more but the fact is that I don't have any extra money to spend anymore which is making me sad in itself. I just keep finding myself getting into an emotional slump. I feel useless and like I failed. I know nobody thinks that and I have my DB's and his family's support but I cant help but feel like an epic loser! There I said it and I am actually a very confident person.

    I have been working since I was 16, never let go from any job and Im 32 going through an emotional hell. On a day to day basis I work through it on my own and I don't overwhelm my DB with how I cry some days. Im just feeling so sad and lonely and I just wish I could have him here to hug me and tell me its going to be ok! I did email him today that Im feeling down but he doesn't know that Ive just been sitting here crying my face off for the past 3 hours. I know this is life and these things happen and I know that deployment is hard and I have to deal with things on my own but I just want to tell him that I've been crying all day and that I feel like Im drowning but I cant bring myself to ever do that because I don't want him to worry and feel terrible that he's not able to be here. Im a mess. It might not seem like it but Im not falling apart and there is nowhere in this entire world that I would rather be than here waiting for him. I just want the impossible... I want him here holding me and telling me it will all be ok.
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    #2

    Finding a good volunteer opportunity may help you bridge the gap AND in your job search - I know that may sound like a stretch given the line of work you are seeking employment in, but you can never underestimate the networking opportunities you can find while volunteering. The advantage of volunteering as far as the emotional sides of being out of work is that it can feel a lot like having a job - you can find a place that can give you a schedule of times you are to be there (vs. the "come whenever" situations) so it's like having a job, you can find situations that let you have direct contact with people in a "service" sort of setting that, again, replicates an employed position and no matter the situation you find it's been shown that doing good for others (be it human, animal; direct, indirect) has a positive emotional impact on the one doing the good.
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    Thank you ZivaD. I am definitely going to look into that. It really is a great idea. Im feeling a lot of guilt though. I don't want my DB to worry about me but I also don't want to not tell him when Im upset from time to time. When I first moved here we had a rough time getting our finances settled and then when we finally do this happens and I just hate that this is something he has to think about while he's on deployment no less. I also mentioned that in one of my last emails and he didn't really respond. I think he's going through some sort of distancing right now because he doesn't react to half of what I write sometimes.
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    It will be ok! Hang in there! I'm so sorry about your work situation. I hope you find something really soon!
    "You think you know what you're looking for, till what you're looking for finds you."
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    It will get better, just keep trying and I agree with the whole volunteering idea. Just stay upbeat and keep looking!
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    #6
    I just read your post and I am feeling the exact same way! Stressing over not wanting to tell him how I really and feeling yet at the same time I want to tell him I have been crying and stress and miss him dearly because he is the only one I want comfort from right now.
    I noticed you are in Norfolk, So am I. Feel free to message me! I just moved here about 7 months ago as well!

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