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Thread: NAVY GIRLFRIEND - HAVING A TERRIBLE DAY

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    Sad NAVY GIRLFRIEND - HAVING A TERRIBLE DAY

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    I cannot stop crying. Its been about 2 months since deployment and I was doing ok. I just moved here about 6 months go and we moved in together. We have an amazing bond and beautiful relationship. Its not perfect of course, no relationship is but for the most part we communicate well and respect each other. I love him so much I can hardly breathe. About 2 weeks ago I got let go from my job. Im a restaurant manager and it has been difficult trying to find a job in this area. I took a position as general manager for a small fine dining restaurant. The owner is also a popular chef in the area but over the past few years he's become somewhat of a has been. I know this because I was working as a server at another restaurant to make money in the meantime and when I gave my notice they politely warned about him and the reputation of the restaurant.

    In any case just when I was getting into a routine and feeling great about that, the rug gets ripped out from under me. Im actively looking for a job but now I find my self crying a lot more than I ever have. To increase the stress my boyfriend has been working a crazy watch schedule on the ship. He barely has had time to do anything besides sleep and go on watch. Ive been increasingly insecure because I feel like he's become less affectionate. His emails are still nice but he doesn't express how he feels as much and when I pour my heart out he doesn't respond like he used to.

    IM TERRIFIED!!!!! What if he falls out of love with me or tries to push me away because he doesn't want to feel any pain. Im so scared. I fell asleep last night crying and woke up crying and have been crying ever since. Ive cried every night for the past week and Im crying even now. I was to talk to him right now!!!! I want to ask him but how do I ask him without sounding like im falling apart.
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    #2
    I am sorry you're dealing with all of this. That sounds like a tough position to be in. Have you made any friends in the area or found something else to keep you occupied?
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by lolo81 View Post


    I cannot stop crying. Its been about 2 months since deployment and I was doing ok. I just moved here about 6 months go and we moved in together. We have an amazing bond and beautiful relationship. Its not perfect of course, no relationship is but for the most part we communicate well and respect each other. I love him so much I can hardly breathe. About 2 weeks ago I got let go from my job. Im a restaurant manager and it has been difficult trying to find a job in this area. I took a position as general manager for a small fine dining restaurant. The owner is also a popular chef in the area but over the past few years he's become somewhat of a has been. I know this because I was working as a server at another restaurant to make money in the meantime and when I gave my notice they politely warned about him and the reputation of the restaurant.

    In any case just when I was getting into a routine and feeling great about that, the rug gets ripped out from under me. Im actively looking for a job but now I find my self crying a lot more than I ever have. To increase the stress my boyfriend has been working a crazy watch schedule on the ship. He barely has had time to do anything besides sleep and go on watch. Ive been increasingly insecure because I feel like he's become less affectionate. His emails are still nice but he doesn't express how he feels as much and when I pour my heart out he doesn't respond like he used to.

    IM TERRIFIED!!!!! What if he falls out of love with me or tries to push me away because he doesn't want to feel any pain. Im so scared. I fell asleep last night crying and woke up crying and have been crying ever since. Ive cried every night for the past week and Im crying even now. I was to talk to him right now!!!! I want to ask him but how do I ask him without sounding like im falling apart.
    Sorry you're having a rough time

    That being said, life is full of uncertainties. You will drive yourself crazyy if you focus on the what ifs. It's not healthy for you or him, and can really cloud your judgement of the situation.

    Try focusing on the current situation. Not the what ifs. Right now, you are in a loving relationship. That's great! And he happens to be away. Allow yourself to be sad, and then focus on what you can do to improve your situation.

    Job satisfaction seems important to you. Focus on finding something that suits you and your needs. Your relationship is also obviously important, maybe focus on sending him a fun care package for halloween or thanksgiving!

    I know it's easier said than done, and we all have our days, but focusing on what you can control, vs what you can't will really help you
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    Sad

    Ive made a few friends but not close enough friends that I can call up and hang out with. I feel so helpless.
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    Thank you CDNTrish

    I've been trying to do all those things and Im going to continue to. I guess I just want to hear how much he loves me. I know I sound like a needy selfish girlfriend and I wish I didn't but I guess I just am so terrified that his indifference is scaring me. Its not like him but I just think about how what if this deployment changes his mind. I just want to know if this might be normal in deployment. At some point does their demeanor change?

    I hate feeling like this and I am NOT going anywhere but nothing could ever hurt more than even just the thought of not having him in my life. NOTHING. :'-(

    Thank you again so much for your advice and I agree I need to try to stop getting upset over what I cant control. I just wish I could talk to him right now so badly. He always tells me to let him know how im feeling and I do when its important.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by lolo81 View Post


    I cannot stop crying. Its been about 2 months since deployment and I was doing ok. I just moved here about 6 months go and we moved in together. We have an amazing bond and beautiful relationship. Its not perfect of course, no relationship is but for the most part we communicate well and respect each other. I love him so much I can hardly breathe. About 2 weeks ago I got let go from my job. Im a restaurant manager and it has been difficult trying to find a job in this area. I took a position as general manager for a small fine dining restaurant. The owner is also a popular chef in the area but over the past few years he's become somewhat of a has been. I know this because I was working as a server at another restaurant to make money in the meantime and when I gave my notice they politely warned about him and the reputation of the restaurant.

    In any case just when I was getting into a routine and feeling great about that, the rug gets ripped out from under me. Im actively looking for a job but now I find my self crying a lot more than I ever have. To increase the stress my boyfriend has been working a crazy watch schedule on the ship. He barely has had time to do anything besides sleep and go on watch. Ive been increasingly insecure because I feel like he's become less affectionate. His emails are still nice but he doesn't express how he feels as much and when I pour my heart out he doesn't respond like he used to.

    IM TERRIFIED!!!!! What if he falls out of love with me or tries to push me away because he doesn't want to feel any pain. Im so scared. I fell asleep last night crying and woke up crying and have been crying ever since. Ive cried every night for the past week and Im crying even now. I was to talk to him right now!!!! I want to ask him but how do I ask him without sounding like im falling apart.

    I know it can be hard. I moved for an ex that later cheated and yeah it sucked. I was sooo broke when it happened. But the good news is life goes on. Everything will turn out ok I promise. I know how tough it can be being worried about the future but you honestly just cannot think about it. You just have to remember how great things are right now and how lucky you are
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by lolo81 View Post


    I cannot stop crying. Its been about 2 months since deployment and I was doing ok. I just moved here about 6 months go and we moved in together. We have an amazing bond and beautiful relationship. Its not perfect of course, no relationship is but for the most part we communicate well and respect each other. I love him so much I can hardly breathe. About 2 weeks ago I got let go from my job. Im a restaurant manager and it has been difficult trying to find a job in this area. I took a position as general manager for a small fine dining restaurant. The owner is also a popular chef in the area but over the past few years he's become somewhat of a has been. I know this because I was working as a server at another restaurant to make money in the meantime and when I gave my notice they politely warned about him and the reputation of the restaurant.

    In any case just when I was getting into a routine and feeling great about that, the rug gets ripped out from under me. Im actively looking for a job but now I find my self crying a lot more than I ever have. To increase the stress my boyfriend has been working a crazy watch schedule on the ship. He barely has had time to do anything besides sleep and go on watch. Ive been increasingly insecure because I feel like he's become less affectionate. His emails are still nice but he doesn't express how he feels as much and when I pour my heart out he doesn't respond like he used to.

    IM TERRIFIED!!!!! What if he falls out of love with me or tries to push me away because he doesn't want to feel any pain. Im so scared. I fell asleep last night crying and woke up crying and have been crying ever since. Ive cried every night for the past week and Im crying even now. I was to talk to him right now!!!! I want to ask him but how do I ask him without sounding like im falling apart.

    Honestly, it's normal for them to not be as affectionate or not respond with the "gusto" that we do sometimes. My DB is currently underway also, and sometimes he has just a few minutes to check all his emails, and facebook, and respond back to not just me, but his mom, sister, and cousin as well. Sometimes, after a long email of how much I miss him and can't wait to see him, I get a "I love you too and Miss you! Yeah things are crazy, I'll talk to you later!" kind of response. That's all the time he has. I learned my lesson this week on that one. If you are concerned, see if there is a nice way you can bring it up to him in an email or the next time he calls without sounding accusing, or demanding. it's tough.

    I also am going through a rough situation here with work. My job is rough, and I don't like it. I'm alone, and nowhere near family. I don't have that many friends, either. But hey, I fin ways to keep myself busy and happy. Sometimes "make it work" is a mantra to live by sometimes.

    Please, feel free to PM me!
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by CDNTrish View Post
    Sorry you're having a rough time

    That being said, life is full of uncertainties. You will drive yourself crazyy if you focus on the what ifs. It's not healthy for you or him, and can really cloud your judgement of the situation.

    Try focusing on the current situation. Not the what ifs. Right now, you are in a loving relationship. That's great! And he happens to be away. Allow yourself to be sad, and then focus on what you can do to improve your situation.

    Job satisfaction seems important to you. Focus on finding something that suits you and your needs. Your relationship is also obviously important, maybe focus on sending him a fun care package for halloween or thanksgiving!

    I know it's easier said than done, and we all have our days, but focusing on what you can control, vs what you can't will really help you
    - so very well said
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by CDNTrish View Post
    Sorry you're having a rough time

    That being said, life is full of uncertainties. You will drive yourself crazyy if you focus on the what ifs. It's not healthy for you or him, and can really cloud your judgement of the situation.

    Try focusing on the current situation. Not the what ifs. Right now, you are in a loving relationship. That's great! And he happens to be away. Allow yourself to be sad, and then focus on what you can do to improve your situation.

    Job satisfaction seems important to you. Focus on finding something that suits you and your needs. Your relationship is also obviously important, maybe focus on sending him a fun care package for halloween or thanksgiving!

    I know it's easier said than done, and we all have our days, but focusing on what you can control, vs what you can't will really help you
    She definitely has some of the best advice on here.
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    I'm in the area if you ever need ANYTHING! My husband deployed 2 months ago as well.
    We Survived Deployment #1 July 2011-Feburary 2012
    We Survived Deployment #2 July 2013-April 2014


    I'm the Pink in a household full of Blue
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