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Thread: Day One and I'm not sure I can do this

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    eustisgf's Avatar
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    #1

    Day One and I'm not sure I can do this

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    It's only Day 1 and I'm feeling like I can't do this. DB left at 5 this morning and I'm feeling so alone already. We have a whole year ahead of us and I feel so weak and helpless. I'm sitting here wishing for one more kiss, one more hug, one more backrub. My apartment feels huge yet suffocating all at the same time...I can't sleep, I can't eat. I need to know that he's gotten over there safe and sound. I need to know that we'll be able to talk. And I need to know that we'll be okay while he's gone for the year. I can't do my homework, I can't focus on anything. I geld it together all day, but I hate feeling so alone and like no one understands. Someone please tell me this gets better. I don't want to worry him about how I feel, but I need someone to talk to so badly
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    #2
    There are up and down days, I wont say it gets amazingly better but after awhile you will be able to handle it better. It took me a bit, and I stay super busy so it helps. Just throw yourself into your studies and it helps time pass.
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    #3
    It's jsut so hard. I felt like I tried so hard to prepare myself and that I'm totally not equipped to handle this
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    #4
    My DH has been gone a little over 2 weeks, and while it's hard it's already gotten a little easier. I started back to school a week after he left so Im sure that is helping me keep my mind off of it so much. Keep your head up, you can do it! You will eventually get into a new routine and before you know it he will be back.
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    #5
    You can do this! Trust me, I thought I couldn't at first I cried and cried but eventually it got better.
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    #6
    Is he going to Korea? Once he gets where he's going it's much easier to communicate and get into a groove with each other. Sorry you're feeling bad now
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    #7
    I'd venture to say all of us deployment vets felt similar our first time, too. It does get easier, if you allow it to. Give yourself a couple days to be in a funk and then force yourself out of it. It will all be ok. Deployments are really just a mind fuck, so you have to learn how to beat that...mind over matter. He's gone no matter what, so might as well get used to it and make the best out of the situation! Hang in there.
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    #8
    Waiting for him to get there is absolutely awful. I'm hoping to finish this paper I'm working on, take a sleeping pill, and knock out for the night. I'm hoping for a call early in the morning, but I don't know if he'll be able to or not
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    #9
    I don't know if he'll be able to call you or not, but I know things get easier once y'all settle into a routine! Idk if this is the case for you, but my DF was stuck at different airports for a bit & it took him almost 3 days to get to where he is now. Concentrate on other things, like maybe write him a letter or start decorating his 1st cp if you don't feel like writing your paper right now.
    "You think you know what you're looking for, till what you're looking for finds you."
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    #10
    My DB left almost 2 weeks ago and I felt the same way you are feeling. It took about 4 days before I could even force myself to eat. Waiting to hear from him and know he got there safe was the hardest part. After he got there and settled in I started feeling better. I still have off days but its getting a little easier every day. Just think of it as every day that passes is one day closer to him coming home. Night time is the hardest for me but I am getting into a routine and its helping a lot.
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