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Thread: Thought I was tough.....guess I'm a wimp

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    #1

    Love Thought I was tough.....guess I'm a wimp

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    My DB in the army was deployed about 2 months ago and at first I had a really great "we got this" attitude thing goin on, but now......now it's more like "im going completely crazy" with breakdowns and anxiety and more crying than i've ever done in my life. Just looking for advice and tips on how to cope while he's gone.

    <3 J&J <3
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    #2
    If you are like me, you are going to go through periods where you feel like you're on top of the world in your relationship and that you have the deployment under control. EVERYONE has their bad days though. You aren't going crazy, deployments are hard. Just try to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you get to feeling better!


    "May you never go to hell, but always be on your way."
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    #3
    I think that is completely normal. For the first few months I rock the shit out of that deployment, but when it comes to an end or near the end I lose my mind.

    for you
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    #4
    For one, I suggest using email to a certain extent. Phone calls and skyping are great (or so I hear, I've never been able to do that)...but emails are great because you can re-read the sweet things he writes you to comfort yourself when you are feeling down or don't hear from him for a while (I've done this a lot!).

    I also suggest getting busy. Work on a hobby, go to happy hour with coworkers, meet up with family and friends, take a class, do some reading, watch a new show everyone is talking about, or start working out to be super fit when your man comes back It is so much easier to stay positive when your mind stays active outside of just him. It's hard, but it's better than crying yourself to sleep every night (I've had stretches of that too). Good luck
    "I am thinking of you and will be all day, every day, until you're in my arms again." -DB

    Eagerly counting down to homecoming, one day at a time.
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    #5
    You guys are the best, thanks so much (: I have our cutest moments over text screenshotted in my phone so i keep those (along the lines of re-reading emails and such). Working out is a great idea (: He's a big fitness guy and I should probably be in shape for when he comes home (Riss knows what I'm talkin about (; ) haha
    But thank you guys so much, there's stretches of days where I just break down and let myself cry, but then I pick myself back up and keep walking (:
  6. Fresh Newbie
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    #6
    It was nice to see this post and to know I am not the only one that feels like this. Some days are VERY hard and some are ok. I've had a spell lately of "not so good days" and trying to keep it together is tough. I do the same thing with the screenshots of texts and FB messages so I can look at them over and over. Trying to stay busy is best. That gives you less time to dwell on it if you're focused on something else. Doesn't mean you have forgotten all about it. I tell him every time I get to talk to him that I miss him and love him and can't wait til he's home!

    This is my first experience with deployment and I had NO idea how hard it really was. I miss him terribly. But I know he will be home soon. I am new to this MilSOS site too and I am amazed by all the support there is out there from others going through the same emotions.

    Big hug to you!
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    #7
    Oh I totally did the phone screen shot of his all time sweetest texts. He calls it my "evidence" (partly because in one he said I could never annoy him). I also have a stick of the type of deodorant he uses... I'd suggest doing that. Sounds weird but I love it. Maybe get some new books? Reading always makes me feel better.

    You're not a wimp! Just going through a rough time. I'm here if you ever want to talk!
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    #8
    It happens to us all. Hang in there!!
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    #9
    You are NOT a whimp! My fiance has been deployed for almost a year (he returns next month), for me the first 3 months were the worst. I cried all the time and had trouble sleeping. I kept a shirt he used to wear and sprayed his favorite cologne on it, I would sleep next to it at night, sounds weird but it worked. The hardest thing for me was the communication, we would go days without talking and i'm a worry wart so I always assumed the worst. He was good about explaining to me that if he could talk to me everyday he would but he wanted me to know that I was always on his mind. For me, that helped tremendously.

    Riss is correct, staying busy is the best thing to do. I accepted overtime at work everytime it was offered, joined the gym, spent as much time with friends and family as possible and overall tried to stay busy. Before I knew it 6 months had passed and now he's coming home in 30 days. If you can please try to stay busy, I promise before you know it he will be home.

    I just want you to know that you are not alone :-)
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    #10
    I used to think I was strong, too... but I am finding that I have one real weak spot now. I, too sleep with one of his shirts...and I did this until he sent me one of his shirts from over there. I've organized a "drive" through my church. We send monthly care packages for him and his unit. This keeps me focused outside of work. It seems my days are getting shorter, but the nights are getting so much longer. God knows, I love him dearly....but I will be so relieved when this deployment is over with.
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