Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Don't know if anyone knows the answer to this question but here goes...

  1. Regular Member
    Bobbysgirrl's Avatar
    Bobbysgirrl is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    184
    #1

    Don't know if anyone knows the answer to this question but here goes...

    Advertisements
    Hi everyone. So DF and I have decided to marry via justice of the peace next year after this deployment. My concern is this: I am divorced with 2 children and am afraid that my ex-husband will attempt to stop me from leaving the state. I've been told that in this situation, because DF is active duty serviceman, I can leave the state with my children once we marry and his job requires he move out of state. I've heard that the ex-spouse can try to stop the move but that it is almost always unsuccessful under the circumstances. Anyone ever been in this situation?
  2. I'm an enlisted 6-star General, Air Coast Force Guard
    Sally's Avatar
    Sally is offline
    I'm an enlisted 6-star General, Air Coast Force Guard
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    South Korea, Osan AB
    Posts
    19,380
    Blog Entries
    17
    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Bobbysgirrl View Post
    Hi everyone. So DF and I have decided to marry via justice of the peace next year after this deployment. My concern is this: I am divorced with 2 children and am afraid that my ex-husband will attempt to stop me from leaving the state. I've been told that in this situation, because DF is active duty serviceman, I can leave the state with my children once we marry and his job requires he move out of state. I've heard that the ex-spouse can try to stop the move but that it is almost always unsuccessful under the circumstances. Anyone ever been in this situation?
    His job, his being in the military, has absolutely no sway on the legal system as far as YOUR kids go. You and your ex need to come to an agreement as far as the children are concerned. There is no magic military clause that comes into play.
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Ol' Grey Mare's Avatar
    Ol' Grey Mare is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    14,646
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Sally View Post
    His job, his being in the military, has absolutely no sway on the legal system as far as YOUR kids go. You and your ex need to come to an agreement as far as the children are concerned. There is no magic military clause that comes into play.
    Yepperoni! I would suggest you start working with your ex (and a mediator if necessary) to come to a solution that most benefits the children.
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Ol' Grey Mare's Avatar
    Ol' Grey Mare is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    14,646
    #4
    What is the current division of parenting time?
  5. Hakuna♥Matata's Avatar
    Hakuna♥Matata is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    9,847
    #5
    You absolutely cannot just up and take the kids out of the state. There is very much so a legal process for this. You will have to go through the court system and have your custody arraignment modified to reflect you having custody of them out of state. Your ex has every right to fight you on this, so be prepared for that. Your new husband being in the military carries no weight. This is a matter between you and your ex. The court very well could say no you are not allowed to leave the state causing you to have to choose between custody of your kids and moving with your new spouse. It's something to be prepared for.
  6. Regular Member
    Bobbysgirrl's Avatar
    Bobbysgirrl is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    184
    #6
    Ok I hear what you're all saying and that is what I thought. However, my friend, who happens to be in the same exact situation, spoke to an attorney who stated she would be able to leave. Of course I would def go back to court and do it the right way. I wouldn't just leave. We have shared custody for now while he looks for employment but once he starts working, obviously things will change a bit. We are already in touch with a mediator for other issues, we are selling the house we own together. Looks like I'm going to have to speak with an attorney about this one. Thanks ladies...
  7. Hakuna♥Matata's Avatar
    Hakuna♥Matata is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    9,847
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Bobbysgirrl View Post
    Ok I hear what you're all saying and that is what I thought. However, my friend, who happens to be in the same exact situation, spoke to an attorney who stated she would be able to leave. Of course I would def go back to court and do it the right way. I wouldn't just leave. We have shared custody for now while he looks for employment but once he starts working, obviously things will change a bit. We are already in touch with a mediator for other issues, we are selling the house we own together. Looks like I'm going to have to speak with an attorney about this one. Thanks ladies...
    I would definitely speak to an attorney, it's an individual case by case situation. I wouldn't go off of what works for your friend and her custody situation. Given that you have shared custody right now, if your ex chooses to fight you on moving it could become a very steep uphill battle to make this happen, if it's possible at all. Good luck!
  8. Senior Member
    villanelle's Avatar
    villanelle is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    14,790
    #8
    Your agreement might state something about this issue already, so start by reading through that.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  9. Senior Member
    mangofishy's Avatar
    mangofishy is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    280

    #9
    Definitely contact an attorney and see what the requirements are as far as relocation goes. The process varies state by state. Ideally, it's best if you come to some sort of agreement with your ex. If that's impossible, however, prepare yourself for a legal battle since you said you have shared custody. I stress to have an attorney help you because if you don't follow the law to the T, they can raise hell about it later on. The main thing that you'll have to prove is how changing the status quo (where the children see their father often with shared custody) is in the best interest of the children.

    It's impossible to predict the outcome. I've seen people who were able to move, no problem. I worked with a MAJ whose wife had shared custody of her child from a previous marriage, and they didn't let her move and gave custody to her ex. It can go any way depending on the state/judge/which way the wind is blowing that day.
  10. Banned
    gunsgirl's Avatar
    gunsgirl is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    lost
    Posts
    17,275
    #10
    your friends custody agreement may allow her to move without issue as mine did.
    When I filed for divorce and we set up the custody agreement I made sure there was a stipulation in place that allowed me to move without consent from my ex.
    I made sure that visitation was set based on distance.

    but being military has no bearing on a civil order.

    Adding in that I have a very good friend who cannot leave the county without consent from the childrens father- she just married an AD member 8 weeks ago and he is now stationed in Southern FL while she and the kids remain in N FL. he refused to allow the kids to leave the area. there is nothing she can do except try to get a court ordered modification and he is refusing to sign it.
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •