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Thread: Don't know what to make of his last msg; so worried...

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    #1

    Don't know what to make of his last msg; so worried...

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    DF is on mission but texted me tonight and frankly I'm a mess! He asked me what I would do if he died and how long would it take me to move on? WTF??? I told him I don't allow my mind to think of him dying; that he's not going to die, that he is coming home to me and our family. I was so upset I started to cry in my car I had to pull over. I know something happened to him that made him think of dying. So I tried my best to encourage him. I told him to be strong, but he wouldn't let it go. He said he wanted an answer, that its important to him to know. He said if he dies he dies surrounded by people who love him, that he is happy and has never been happier (bc we got back together) and that he loves me with all his heart.
    I'm a hot mess!! Im so worried...all I could do was pray and cry and hope for the best...
    Has anyone ever had a similar experience from their SO?? This is so hard...I can't even think of losing him...my heart aches at the thought of it. I'm sorry if I upset someone, I just need some words of encouragement...please.
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    #2


    That's all I've got for you When I'm worried I just try to think of all the training he had up until this point. And how much experience other people who are there with him have. And none of those guys would let anything happen to each other.


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    #3
    That is rough. My SO hasn't been deployed while we were together but I think it is something that a lot of them think of while they are over there fighting. I think he was wondering about a lot of what ifs it is unlikely that he would die. That would worry me too though. Try not to worry yourself sick.

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    #4
    I'm trying not to worry. I know that its a daily struggle for them out there. And that the things they see and are exposed to wear on their minds. He told me that he wants me to be happy, that when he turns his phone back on, he wants an answer. So I txted him n said I would not ever be happy if he died and would not be able to move on, hoping that would encourage him to be strong and make it home. Besides, how the hell am I supposed to know how long it would take me to move on?? All I can think of is the grief and heartache that would follow his death. The mind is a dangerous place. I won't go there...
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    #5
    See, for me being the worrier I am... I do think of that type of stuff and had talked to DH about it beforehand so he already knows the answer before deployment. Answer being financially we would be taken care of but I can't imagine myself ever moving on fully because he completes me in every way.

    I think the answer you gave him was great because he is already in that situation and I think him asking how long it would take for you to move on is sort of like wondering if you'll be okay afterwards.

    Still yet, NOT what you want to think about when he is deployed. and when I get to that place it is hard to get out of it, usually I just have to sleep it off at that point

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