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Thread: doesn't understand

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    #1

    doesn't understand

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    Hey!
    So my soldier came back from Afghanistan this morning, but the problem is, he didn't even care to tell me. The past few months have been really hard on our relationship. It seems like all we've been doing is fighting and then not talking and it's been no different the last two weeks. The same thing happened, I tried to talk to him about something and he just stopped talking to me, removed me on skype and whatever. Now he's back at his base in Washington so I won't get to see him for another month or so but, I've heard that this is how a lot of end-of-deployments go. I know it's hard to air problems on something like this, but I could really use the advice because I don't know what to expect now. I've never thought that he wouldn't speak to me even to tell me he was on his way home -- or call me once he got here to let me know. I don't know which was worse, the deployment or this. How did you all get through it?
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    #2
    WOW that is not normal behavior. I would re-examine your relationship. Sorry that has to be hard.

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    #3
    Definitely NOT okay he didn't tell you. I can understand that maybe he needs some downtime, but he will get that anyway since he won't be home for a while, but to not even call or text you and give you the courtesy of knowing he's out of harms way and home safe? Oh heck no!!
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by snprgf View Post
    Hey!
    So my soldier came back from Afghanistan this morning, but the problem is, he didn't even care to tell me. The past few months have been really hard on our relationship. It seems like all we've been doing is fighting and then not talking and it's been no different the last two weeks. The same thing happened, I tried to talk to him about something and he just stopped talking to me, removed me on skype and whatever. Now he's back at his base in Washington so I won't get to see him for another month or so but, I've heard that this is how a lot of end-of-deployments go. I know it's hard to air problems on something like this, but I could really use the advice because I don't know what to expect now. I've never thought that he wouldn't speak to me even to tell me he was on his way home -- or call me once he got here to let me know. I don't know which was worse, the deployment or this. How did you all get through it?
    Hmmm, definitely not normal for the masses... That being said, without more detail about your situation and your SO's job, it's hard to tell. (And I'm not asking for private information, so please don't share private information). Either way, it sounds like you're getting the brush off (sorry ). I hope you get everything settled soon.



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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Judi89 View Post
    Hmmm, definitely not normal for the masses... That being said, without more detail about your situation and your SO's job, it's hard to tell. (And I'm not asking for private information, so please don't share private information). Either way, it sounds like you're getting the brush off (sorry ). I hope you get everything settled soon.
    I agree with Judi. I'm sorry.



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    #6
    From your username, I gather your DB is a sniper. Going off of what Judi said, I would still think this behavior would be odd. Unless he was in some super secret squirrel covert ops unit or something... even then, why wouldn't he call you when he got home?

    I hope you figure it out. If it were me, I might give him a few days to see if he contacted me. If not, I would seriously rethink what I wanted for myself and the relationship.

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    #7
    Even if he has a top secret job, obviously OP knows he's home, so it's not a secret...someone knows and told her, or she found out another way. I would seriously re-evaluate my relationship if my boyfriend came home from a war zone and didn't bother telling me. But that's just me.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by sweetvanity View Post
    From your username, I gather your DB is a sniper. Going off of what Judi said, I would still think this behavior would be odd. Unless he was in some super secret squirrel covert ops unit or something... even then, why wouldn't he call you when he got home?

    I hope you figure it out. If it were me, I might give him a few days to see if he contacted me. If not, I would seriously rethink what I wanted for myself and the relationship.
    idk a friend of mine in high school's brother was a sniper and came back with some real issues. i remember him coming back and not even telling his mother.

    so maybe hes just dealing with some shit. OP i would reach out to him via txt or something. it is very possible hes trying to walk away in a really douchey way but maybe hes not only he can tell you that and if he doesnt respond at all after a couple of days/ weeks id assume disappearing is his way of breaking up with you.

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    #9
    He removed you from skype? He sounds incredibly childish & not worth the time.

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  10. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by *Blondie* View Post
    idk a friend of mine in high school's brother was a sniper and came back with some real issues. i remember him coming back and not even telling his mother.

    so maybe hes just dealing with some shit. OP i would reach out to him via txt or something. it is very possible hes trying to walk away in a really douchey way but maybe hes not only he can tell you that and if he doesnt respond at all after a couple of days/ weeks id assume disappearing is his way of breaking up with you.

    Yeah, I know several myself. I think the point was that if he comes back effed up, it could be b/c he came back effed up-- not that its specifically related to his MOS where he might not be allowed contact. KWIM?

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