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Thread: I don't really know how to feel...

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    #1

    Question I don't really know how to feel...

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    If you haven't read my intro thread, my status right now is somewhere between friend and girlfriend. We've been friends for a long time, and since he's been deployed I've been becoming better friends with his mom.

    Anyway, it's been about 12 days (who's counting? ) since we talked. We went from talking every night, sometimes multiple times a day, to not at all. I sent him something just saying hi on Thursday and got something back today. He'd told me they'd been busy, so I was trying not to bother him with too much. He told me today that things were going well but they were -still- really busy (to the point he had no idea our favorite baseball team was playing today - if you knew either of us, that's a huge deal). He was chatting with me while on duty, so I feel a little special I guess, but there was just a weird vibe to it. Usually I can't stop smiling when we talk and I would have thought after 12 days of no contact at all I would have been happier. Instead I'm worried about him. He's been working a lot and I know that's part of being deployed, but I feel bad for bothering him or something. I know he didn't have to respond and he did, so that makes me feel a little better. I've been trying to fight the feeling that I did or said something and that he really is busy. He's never lied to me, so I don't have any reason to doubt him when he tells me that.
    I told my SIL that we'd been talking (he was in their wedding) and she got excited and gave me "her blessing" on the whole situation, that made me smile and made me think that maybe he is interested...

    I know it's all in my head, but I don't know how to get out of my head, I guess. I don't know how to not think it's something I've done. I've been trying to stay busy/ distracted, but that only works for so long.
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    #2
    Is this his first deployment?


    "Love is not love which alters when it altercation finds" - Shakespeare




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    #3
    It is.
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    #4
    Hi!! Keep your head up, and don't think too much into it. Men deal with stress differently. I read this whenever I am feeling a bit emotional:
    It always makes me laugh...


    “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
    -Khalil Gibran


    "Depth over distance every time my dear;
    and this tree of ours may grow tall in the woods;
    but it's the roots that will bind us here,
    to the ground."
    -Ben Howard, Depth Over Distance
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Madewell View Post
    Hi!! Keep your head up, and don't think too much into it. Men deal with stress differently. I read this whenever I am feeling a bit emotional:
    It always makes me laugh...

    That EXCATE image popped into my head!!!

    And it's super true and I'm sure deployment just exaggerates the situation. I know when DB first left I swore up and down I did something to make him mad. In reality his head was in a different place. You're all good girl! If you're still afraid that you did something though, you can always ask him for clarification
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    #6
    Thanks ladies! I can so relate to that picture. I could win a medal in over-thinking things. I'm glad it's not just me.
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    Omg haha I've never seen that pic before! Love it! Story of my life!

    And don't worry about your DB being a little shut off...normal for a lot of guys and I'm certain he'll come around when he's ready My DB keeps going through phases, he has some sort of rotational schedule...quiet/happy/mush/distant and it continues....it's loads of fun.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Madewell View Post
    Hi!! Keep your head up, and don't think too much into it. Men deal with stress differently. I read this whenever I am feeling a bit emotional:
    It always makes me laugh...

    That pretty much explains me right now my boyfriend is about to get deployed and he hasn't had as much time to talk to me, and as females, we tend to think its our fault for some reason. I know I am currently guilty of this. But your post made me laugh and realize I'm probably being over worried as usual
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by catch108stchs View Post
    Thanks ladies! I can so relate to that picture. I could win a medal in over-thinking things. I'm glad it's not just me.
    It's definitely not just you hun. They need to have a sort of boot camp for "how to date and marry a military guy"
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Jazzski722 View Post
    It's definitely not just you hun. They need to have a sort of boot camp for "how to date and marry a military guy"
    I don't know if that would help. He was already deployed when we started talking. haha

    But since this was bumped back up, things got better. He's still really busy, but we talked for a little bit last week and he got the care package I sent. I'm still trying to get used to the not talking every day and trying to remind myself that he doesn't HAVE to talk to me and he is (I think that's good), so we're still ok. I think.

    I'm passed the halfway point and now I'm at the BRING HIM HOME RIGHTNOW phase. And the homecoming dreams have started. I still have a few months left... lol
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